ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Blue Moon (beverage & frequency of phenomenon)

So I went out on a work night for the first time in quite a while. I mean, went out & didn't get back home until closer to 5 a.m. than any other hour. Apparently, I burned off the moderate amount of alcohol I consumed dancing around like a freak since I'm not hungover. Dancing? Okay, okay, more like letting my body move any which way it felt like going. SO MUCH FUN!!! So the Blue Moon has come and gone. And now I'm wrestling with the fact that in 24 hours I'll be stuck in a car with daddy, his wife, da bro & his girlfriend for a 12 hour car ride. Uhhh...this should prove really interesting, seeing as we're all adults in age but can't seem to act like it. In the meantime, hang tight 'cuz anything that you can think up in your pretty, little head promises to crush under the harsh reality of a family vacation. Headphones, check. Books (writing down the bones, brave new world, la generacion de 1898, the tao, the way of zen, butterfly reference, a walk in the woods), check. Arrested Development, check. Writing notebook, check. Trusty running shoes in case the need for a speedy getaway comes up, check. Looks like I'm packed and ready to go. Hasta el ano nuevo!

Monday, December 27, 2004


Someone set out mini-brownies (w/ a Hershey's kiss on top) & English Toffee under a sign that says "Eat These". Don't mind if I do. Still a mystery as to who brought in these delicious treats. However, when I find out who this unnamed desserter is, I will surely dole out an enormous thanks & hug, quickly followed by a sucker punch to the stomach & whisper in their ear something threatening 3 octaves lower than my regular intonation. Just kidding. Damn, do I love toffee covered in chocolate.

Fan of Lots of Things... of those would definitely be Top (insert #) lists. Maybe it's my love of numbers, so sure, so stable. Well, that is until you get into more advanced math and all of that stability flies out the window with the baby (oh shit, no, that's the bathwater). However, advanced math is still really fun. Holy crap, did I just say that out loud? Thank goodness nobody actually reads this but me.
Top 5 Presents of 2k4 are as follows:
1. Arrested Development Season 1 (bought for myself)
2. New ski jacket (thanks mom!)
3. Some of the best pie, EVER (dat's from da bro)
4. Stop Making Sense DVD (what a boss)
5. Snow (sigh, too bad there isn't anything close to resembling a hill around here)

Top 5 Surreal Experiences of X-Mas 2k4:
1. Watching the neighbor kids open presents from my parents. Mind you, the neighbor kids are our (my bro's & mine) ages. While Ian & I sat there, giftless. That's cool & all, Dad's taking us on a trip. However, it was still really fucking weird. Kind of like my dad's wife saying "see, these are the kids I really wanted, you spoiled little brats". Fuck! I'm 25 goddamn years old & figured that one out quite a while ago. Do I really need to wake up at 6:00 on a day off to hear it again?
2. Picking up stepdad's mom @ her "assisted living" facility only to find that my cheery, sweet step-grandma has turned into a very mean lady who yelled at me to get her coat, only to (of course) grab the wrong one out of nervousness.
3. Finding out that my best friend got a pearl necklace from her boyfriend and not giggling. Not the experience but the idea that I may possess an ounce of maturity towards something that just recently would have evoked at least a snicker. Wtf? Where did this come from?
4. The Ex Parade: Happens every year. Very sweet but always just kind of weird. Not that I really mind telling how great I'm doing and not lying one bit.
5. Stepmother's refusal to talk to me. Like ALL family holidays. Since nothing else stranger happened, this makes the list again.

All in all, damn good year. Plus, I got a killer dinner @ a friend's house, who's dad happens to be a chef. Full bellied, I went home, put on AD, laughed my head off & snuggled cozy into a blanket.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

meow meow meow meow

Since the holidays (& all the crap that goes with it) haven't let me down (Please note: heavy sarcasm), I've decided to stay in my cocoon as much as possible. Thus, leading a notable increase in television/movie viewing. Last night, in the mood for a lighter flick, I rented Napolean Dynamite. It did not dissappoint. The main character's (Napolean) placid, yet spastic, expressions lead to an instantaneous deep-down-inside-there's-still-a-little-immature-3-year-old connection. Come on, raise your hand if you've ever really wanted to throw a temper tantrum after the age of 10. And to tell you the truth, I don't see anything wrong with carrying that behavior out within the confines of your own home & no one's hurting anyone. However, unnecessary hurt is inexcusable.
Speaking of which, I'll be house-hopping again this year for Christmas. (Even though I vowed not to when when I moved back to Chicago) Actually, good advice for multi-parental families out there...Last year was the experimental year of "whoever gets your plans in first wins that time slot". I figured that between my 2 sets of parents & boyfriend at the time's family, this gave everybody a fair chance & possibly relieved me of some guilt trips. The fair chance thing worked out. However, we're still working on the guilt trip thing. Oh well, can't get it all. And actually learned a valuable lesson. It really doesn't matter what you do, if someone wants to guilt you, they WILL find an excuse. Most of the time, there's a very fuzzy line between someone genuinely being hurt from absence/drunkenness/lack of (insert material object)/lack of thanks for (insert material object) & a desire to control/puppet or just plain not like you. Half hour more of work. Better hop to it. Surely, I'll return post Christmas with some awesome stories of down-right debauchery & the blackmail I'll be able to cash in for years to come. Kick ass.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

This technology thing ain't all that bad

Said just before the computer crashes...
Website pick of the 2nd day of winter: the New Devil's Dictionary. Just go. There will be no regrets. Speaking of winter. Apparently, global warming decided not to hit Chicago. Boys & girls, it's fucking cold here. I honestly do not remember it this cold other than that one week in January (usually the 3rd).
Gotta get back to work, seeing as I've stayed unmotivated all day & that must

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Rockin' Canon in D

So I'm sitting at work listening to (terrific online radio station) while throwing red tape all over documents. All of a sudden a reggae-sounding version of Pachabel's Canon in D comes on. What? Then to add yet another surprise, they switch it up to a Rockin' Canon. Yes! Okay, so from our Grab Bag at work this year I got a DVD version of Stop Making Sense & have to admit that took my boss's coolness to a whole new level.
Song of Note: "Idiot King" by Soul Coughing. Admittedly, I bought the disc Irresistable Bliss for the first track (Super BonBon) but have really liked this band for quite some time (circa 1995) just never remembered to buy the disc while at the store. Surely, you know how that goes...Damnit, how is it that upon entrance to Dr. Wax my cerebral tissues automatically lose their memory function only to get home (with 2-3 new cd's mind you) & synopses to begin working properly again reintroducing the melody benignly plagueing my inner stereo system for the last two weeks. Back to my main point. Not only is the whole disc really f-ing good but the song "Idiot King"/Track 11 beats the crap out of a lot of other new stuff I've bought lately. What a nice reminder when for the last 5 or 6 discs I've bought kind of for one song, that's really the only song that turned out all that great, there are those gems that turn out a solid hour. Sigh. I better start working again as to get home at a descent hour.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Common Misnomers

#1. Holiday Break: So far in my 25 years on this planet, the holidays have not entailed any kind of "break" as in resting time. This year proves no exception. 'Tis the time for a certain parent's spouse to quit speaking to me, during a family party. What atrocity did I commit this time? Don't know & probably never will. For the last 14 years this unnamed person & I haven't gotten along for nothing other than we just don't like each other. There, it's out. Our personalities clash. Which leads us to the next.
#2. Beauty shops (on the south side of Chicago): Why are these women paying to look like that? Not only was Holly Hunter's haircut in Always in style for about 15 minutes, 15 years ago, it was on Holly Hunter. Shemullets are NOT the rage. They never have been. They are funny. Everyone has a right to look & like however/whatever they want. We are only human and all make mistakes. Certainly, there is a picture somewhere of yours truely in a fully Hyper-color outfit. But for the love of god, there is an entire geographic area convinced that these places are making them more attractive when, in fact, they are successful in the opposite & then taking these poor ladies' money. Pirates, I tell you.
Phew! What a weekend! Began with a debate at bartime outside the local watering hole. This turd had the audacity to argue the side of "terrorist taking others' lives" to immediately get into his SUV & drive away very obviously above the legal limit. Stuffed in passive/aggressive menopausal women with bad haircuts. And ended with throwing in the towel, putting on sweats & watching movies. (After Arrested Development, of course. That show is just SO GOOD. I can't get over it.)

Friday, December 17, 2004

Firsts for Everything

Despite my general disdain for technology, I hung around a couple acquaintances who kept raving about this blogging thing. Hmmm...sounds pretty interesting, maybe I'll try it out. Through heavy justification it surely couldn't seem any stranger than telling my cat about what happened on any particular day. Only, this way maybe somebody out there has some good literary & music recommendations, could give some feedback, tell of some funny stories... Low & behold, Merlin, the cat doesn't respond (thank goodness!). Or at least as long as I stay away from certain substances & don't get hit in the back too hard.
Holy shit. I think I just invited the world to read my journal. Sorry to disappoint, not too much juicy stuff going on here. However, I do have some pretty good stories of homeless men hitting on me. Okay, that's it for today.
Disc to get: Eno & Cale Wrong Way Up. Track 6 (Spinning Away). Great, great, great song, particularly at night with a large space in which to dance around.