ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Ahead of the game

My plan to get home early last night burst like an over-inflated balloon as soon as I picked up the invoices I had to pay last night at work. Damnit. I did still manage to start a letter to Jadie, get my taxes done & read about 30 pages in Crackpots. This book has hooked me in & I'm happy to have picked up something a little lighter than Brave New World. I'd also picked up Elliott Smith XO about a week ago & the book's themes twist in nicely with the album of the moment, depression & strings of unhealthy relationships. Although when I my interest originally peeked in Smith I very frequently accompanied his songs with gin & Hemingway, this bout around conjures up a lot less of the self-indulgent acts & more introspective relating to sweet, sweet Elliott's broken heart. Had I purchased this disc a few months ago, I may have felt differently. Maybe I'll get more into that later.
No room for depth at work. Must get going.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Misery (supposedly) loves company

Here's another phrase I just don't get. I realize, people are different. And at one point in my life I guess my misery enjoyed other people's misery as well. But for the love of god, there is a difference between venting or communicating and acting like an asshole. And if you can tell me when (estimate times welcome) you're going to fucking grow up and act in a civil manner, we have something to work with. Until then, please do not become mean & defensive just because I chose to tune-out your angry words. Not that I won't do what you need me to do & I'm not listening at all. I just choose not to allow someone to get me worked up because they have some insignificant at the time problem. Generally, when in a sour mood, I crawl right back into bed, where I belong, as to not expose anyone to any unnecessary backlashes. Some advice: if your personality is just that way, please leave me alone. Enough.
I've decided to take the night off (i.e. run no errands, not work out), get in some good flute practice, letter writing (specifically to Jadie who's just having a tough time right now & that sucks) & maybe start embroidering a pair of pants that I think need some love.
Stay tuned for excitement. I have to stop by Pep Boys this weekend, which could lead to some shocking conversation.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Holy crap, I woke up in a snowglobe!

Since Chicago's winter actually proved itself as the mean, nasty bastard it can be, this weekend turned into a little bit of a bust. Friday morning I found out that Hem had sold out. Mother lover, one of the only times that I didn't buy tickets ahead of time. Although tempted to run up to Schuba's & try snagging an extra ticket, the weather drove my sorry ass into bed before 10. Which actually turned out for the better, seeing as the next morning I got up to ingest a half of a pot of coffee, followed by putting some laps in at the pool. Coming out of the rec center, I felt like I had been transported into a snowglobe. Boy, does that make you skip home. Saturday night turned out a better night on the town, anyways. I went with some friends to the Abbey to listen to some friends of theirs in a group called Royce. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy my fair share of 80's tunes. However, among those Hall & Oats never come to mind. That is unless my bro & I are blotto, which has, on more than one occasion, brought out a duet of off-key Man-Eater. That, my friends, is quite a sight to see & an easy blackmail opportunity for those in our presence. Back to the story, these guys did a cover of the song "I Can't Go for That" that proved my Hall & Oats-resenting-ass (thanks to mom & the fact that they pretty much just plain suck) really wrong. Turned into a really fun night. To top the weekend off, I hit the woods by mom's house for a terrific snow jont. It's finally sunny out here so the sky was bright blue & the snow sparkled. The creek running through, the mallards herded on the ice & a whole lot of people out there enjoying some fresh air, be it x-country skiing, walking, jogging or just taking advantage of the scenery, made it impossible to not induce perma-grin for a solid hour. Spectacular. And now, pulling an old college move, I showed up at mom's home with laundry. Which essentially translates into a good excuse to spend most of the day with her. What a lucky girl. Hopefully, tomorrow I won't go back to work to any computer crashes, sporadic printers or unruly copy/fax machines. (the latter always pushing my buttons the most frequently) Until then, my plan is to enjoy the shit out of the rest of the day.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005


On one of the previous postings I claimed that "maybe technology ain't so bad". I officially remove that statement to put in its place that not only does technology, in fact, suck at this point, day by day it whittles away at my personal quality of life. Today's problem...the printer. This malicious little fucker performs, performs, performs until out of the blue (poof!) it decides it's had enough. No reason. And every time I hit a button it prints up some kind of demo crap. It has paper, it has ink. (Baby, I'm good to you! I feed you, I oild you!) It's a god-damned machine so it really can't "get tired" or "need a lunch break". Enough. This does not help. It's like sitting in traffic & getting pissed off. Nothing I can do about it.
Oh well.
On the bright side, I did persuade a friend of mine to go see Hem w/ me on Friday night. Plus, he's a big fan of sushi so I won't have to twist any arms to eat something nutritious & delicious before the show. Something to look forward to is always nice. Nothing to look forward to=sad, little emmy. Really should do something about that. Ah, once the weather becomes bearable again life effortlessly becomes astronomically more enjoyable. I like seasons, winter just really gets me down. & that whole Christmas=>New Year's=>Valentine's Day media show does pretty much anything but get me into the spirit. Gotta get back to work.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Brave New World

Just finished reading BNW this morning (finally). Wow. Although a little difficult to get into, once I sat down & focused, putting it down proved very difficult. Quite amazing how Huxley prophesized many scientific breakthroughs and their impact on society decades before they broke (i.e. birth control, genetic cloning, mass conditioning).
The Savage (John), brought into a modern world from reservation containing humans not affected by modern science, revolts at the idea that people live in an emotionless world (thank you, soma) without felt morals but instead conditioning. Obviously the protagonist, I found myself pulling for him. However, his inacceptance of the environment towards the environment in which he now habitates brings a pull from the other side as to opposing progression and the consequences which come with those actions. Interesting how he acted directly from feelings when intellectually, no progress on his part could come out of dealing with people who can't understand what it is to hurt, cry..., since soma took away all "bad" feelings.
The social structure remains one of past and present, as there remains some sort of caste system in all or most societies throughout history. Only the top people actually knew anything that went on both before Ford as well as the plans during the time the story's being told. The rest of the population remains depended on to pull the weight and not question. I hear hints of modern government all over that? Especially after talking with someone who let me on that a certain relative of mine still feels that Iraq poses a threat to her personal freedoms. (without so much as a valid reason, only because we should stick by our government & muslims are bad...hey, these aren't my words or beliefs but to educate the ignorant you must know them first as to bring a good argument to the table). Enough ramblings. Time to work.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Things I'm NOT a fan of...

1. I dropped off furniture at P's house this morning. Although I thought it'd be relieving, I'm actually left with an empty feeling more than anything else.
2. Insecure people who take it out on others. Granted, we all have them (insecurities, that is). However, what ever happened to focusing on the positive as opposed to attempting to bring others down to make yourself feel better?
3. Working on Sundays. Speaking of which, what the hell am I doing wasting time? I've got some work to do so I can go home & initiate veg mode.

Friday, January 14, 2005


Okay, so we didn't end up seeing Capt. Zissou last night. Thus the review to come later. Kinda feel like a flake but oh well.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Catching Snowflakes...

...kicks catching the cold's ass any day of the week. The Weather Man correct, Chi received the chilliest of seasons back early this morning. It didn't miss a sneak preview of spring thunderstorms, though. Last night, laying in bed the rain lulled me into a sound sleep. Around 9:30 lightning & thunder kicked in sporadically which made it completely worth walking home soaking wet. And now snow falls, again. It snowed for about 2 days straight last week, which is awesome until you realize there's really nothing to do with that seeming innocent matter (that btw has contributed to several personal injuries) around here but throw it at someone. Word to the wise...most strangers DO NOT want to start snowball fights with you (even if you market it as "snowball toss/fun" & the snow around these parts SHOULD NOT come anywhere near entering your mouth. Like good ol' Frank said...Don't eat the yellow snow. Now, should any music trivia buff out there tell me the last name of the Frank in which I'm referring, you get a secret prize.
Agenda for Tonight: The ***** Family viewing of Life Aquatic with Capt. Zissou. Da Bro & his girl plan to hop into the city for an evening viewing of this critically shat-on film. Fuck critics, all they do is bitch. I LA-LA-LOVED The Royal Tannenbaums, Rushmore & Bottle Rockets so maybe I'll just write a positive review of Capt. Z tomorrow when I get to work. Enough chit-chat.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Too dumb to come up with something clever

The weather turned uncharacteristically warm today & it teased me. Ooo! I wanna go out and play! However, the weather man said it would change overnight back to regular cold, crappy winter. A possible influencer of cerebral malfunction all day. The ability of sentence construction completely eluded me pretty much all day. Regardless, I enjoyed as much of this great daylong-spring to the fullest extent. Let it eat my brain away if it likes. I, for one day of a Chicago winter, didn't have to muster up courage to exit into the outside for a cigarette break. On the downside, I got stood up by the girl I supposedly tutor for the second week in a row. Sigh.
Moodswing's track with Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech laced in just came onto Radio Paradise & completely turned around my insides, allowing disappointment to subside. What an amazing man. Now, that's something to sigh over (only followed by a sheepish smile). Holy shit, John Lennon to follow it up. Patience, baby. One frustrating day remains only one frustrating day.
Maybe this is a sign to go home.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Apparently, god doesn't want me to eat m&m's...

...but no silly deity's gonna stop this girl from getting at those delicious, chocolate, candy-shelled bits of ecstasy. Somebody's a little stressed out. I finally got out two of the three huge grant proposals I've been working on at least 10 hours/day last night. And if that previous sentence structure didn't prove that the adjective "tired" was passed up quite a while ago, I'm not sure what would. And now, the Mars company is raising the bar on how difficult accessing their product is by fusing their outside packaging (seemingly paper) with some kind of super plastic. Okay, okay, maybe that's a tad overdramatic. Now that the chocolate's beginning to kick in, I'm feeling much better. So the grants went out and the next big deadline isn't until February 1.
And 2 days short of 1 months of the 3 sans dating has opened up a whole new social life I completely forgot existed. Fun, albeit, I'm already sick of bars again. Don't get me wrong, there is no inkling of the relationship bug floating around my system (that usually shows up in the spring). However, the college-type life of being single in your twenties is only fun about once a month. Other than that, it's shallow & unfulfilling for the most part.
Okay, the Clash is on which means I'm all fired up to work (seriously). Question to ponder: is head-bobbing to music in the office socially acceptable if you have your own office & nobody really sees you? I think just for writing down that question I'm officially banned from trendy Northside hangouts for a good 3 weeks.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Working is Hard Work

Post-college sabatical=over. And I was doing so well @ being a 25-year-old retiree. The good part is that I like my job & the working environment. I was actually at the office until 11:15 p.m. last night. However, the upside to this is that I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. Since every time I sit down to get some real writing in, just seems like there's more to go into it. Anyhow, break's over. Back to editting. Something interesting next time. (promise)

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

All about choices

Swamped remains a slight underexaggeration of the state of "shit to get done" at work. Just wanted to jot down that Asheville, NC kicked some serious ass. The dark, stormy cloud, which I thought was vaca only existed in my mind. Not that some of the bullshit that went down didn't suck. It did. But I made it fun. More details later.
p.s. I did get hit on by a roughly 50 years old hitchhiker. He wanted to give me some gold angel necklace. (uh, no thanks) It's officially a national epidemic, boys & girls.