ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

New Places, New Faces

I officially declare this Lame Blog Day for youdontknowmymiddlename.

What to do? Where to go? What can I get for $2.34? A burger at Bar Louie, that's what. So after class that's exactly what Con, Erin & I did. Usually we'd hit the Missy Elliott lookalike contest at the HP chain but this week was different. We were sick of seeing Miss Missys in all of their glory. Somewhere new. Off to Bridgeport to run an errand & off, off we went to the Little Village BL branch.

Upon entering, we discovered a plethora of UIC kids. Yay! New undergrads with whom to secretly play "You & Him" (patented by the one & only of two, Schmale). You guys are losers & going to hell for that. True. But it's also so much fun to outdo each other in a grueling "You & Him" match, especially if it's for the wager of a dime a piece. Also, when ladies go new places they get hit on by new, never-seen-before men. And as expected, last night did not disappoint. The first approacher, a very thin roughly 20-year-old, came up to the table & quickly fled when we asked him for a joke. 1.3 beers later 2 new (ahem) gentlemen approached three ladies who stuck out like sore thumbs (that's us). These two, James & Cesar, were hilarious & very obviously very drunk since they immediately admitted that they were not 21 or over. Ha ha, what if we would've been cops.

Getting hit on by 19-year-olds=super-fun night.

So we chitchatted for a while about cabbages & kings & whether pigs have wings & such & Cesar & I spoke in all Spanish. At this point the party got started when Con recognized one of her former students, Stephen. Stephen came right over to the table, looked over at me & in one of the most flamboyant voices I've ever heard screeched "omigod. kylie minogue. that's who you look like". Stephen had been tippin' it up a little bit as well since I have no physical characteristics in common with Kylie Minogue other than both of us being little white chicks. Although, I did wear my showgirl costume out last night, feeling especially peacockish.

Getting back to James...what an interesting kid. Pretty much everything that he said, I disagreed with on some level or another. Some opinion. Some fact. One debate went as such...
Scene: James babbling about putting people into 4 different categories of humans. he could only remember 3, which made his argument completely useless to begin with.
me: you can die from alcohol withdrawl but not heroin withdrawl
idiot: no, you can't die from alcohol withdrawl & you can die from heroin withdrawl
me: no, i'm pretty sure you're wrong on that one. (cited research text)
idiot: well, you know my cousin killed himself when he was detoxing from heroin
me: um, you didn't seriously just use that as an argument, did you? because now you're just combatting my side of this discussion.
idiot: yeah, well, i'm not gonna have sex until i'm engaged because i think that she should have to wait & know that i'm in control of that stuff.
me: (furrowed eyebrows, blank stare, slightly opened mouth displaying an awed look) where'd stephen go? (at this point any hope of logical conversation was out the window & decided to go find cross-eyed-drunk stephen to bolster my ego)

Yeah for drunk 19-year-olds!

The Boring End.


Blogger erin said...

ha ha i think we promised him we weren't going to tell our friends about him the next day and you go and tell THE WHOLE INTERNET!!! you are going to hell TWICE!

3:26 PM

Blogger The Innominate Blogger said...

Ha! Dude sounds braziliant. (That is in no way meant to insult the wonderful people of Brazil).

P.S.: You were absolutely right about alcohol vs. heroin, but I don't think you needed me to tell you that.

3:45 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Holy shit. I totally forgot to not tell anybody. Ha ha ha!

Re hell: I'm already on the way & don't think that there's all that much I can do about it at this point. (see: early 20's)

Senor Drome: Thanks for the medical back up. I think you would've gotten a kick out of him.

4:00 PM

Blogger Ajax said...

I love how everybody is best friends now.

6:22 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Best friends are the best.

2:14 PM


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