ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Monday, August 08, 2005

What it feels like...

This weekend was all about feelings. I felt, oh man, did I ever feel. And then for part of it I felt nothing, which is how I know that I felt anything at all. What the fuck are you talking about? Have you finally gotten laid? Is THAT why you're having all of these feelings? No, you dirtbag.

Saturday, early afternoon we headed out to the Arboretum in the suburbs. Hhhmmm...trees. I haven't seen those in a while. Maybe I should move back out to where young emmy learned all about life & love & which routes are the best for running from cops. The land where trees grow. Nah. So we get to this magical tree land & ask where the maze is because first things first, must get lost. The nice lady at the information desk told us where the maze was & gave us a little bit of whimsical wisdom. She said we should visit the Pines so we could feel what it's like if we ever wondered about what it felt like to walk in the woods. Flabbergasted, we were all over this unfamiliar feeling of woods-walking. But only after we attempted to get lost in the worst maze I've ever been in (spoiler: the only maze). Lack of direction came only when we woods-like walked (& that picture of me, lost, in the woods, to the right). So how did it make you feel?

Like spoofing Blair Witch so we went to the mall & made a run for the border.

Then a friend of mine called to tell me that there's this awesome rap group playing at the Double Door & if I wasn't busy I should go. So the new hot shirt got pulled out again. Yeah, hot shirt. At this point I was feeling my hoey alterego. Ridiculous, awesome pack of whitey (& a coupla Asian) rappers? Formed at UW-Madison? Could it be possible? And I say that yes, yes it is. And they were just as ridiculous as promised which is cool because you know how much I like ridiculousness, especially on a Saturday night after 6 beers. And that's when I became ridiculous-feeling too.

These feelings suck. Give me something I can work with. Did you do anything but drink & walk in the woods this weekend? You lazy mo fo.

Well, yeah, I'm getting to it. Sunday morning mommy brought me my bicycle. So in all of my tired, hungover feelingness I hauled it down 3 flights of stairs & took off for a new place. Somewhere I've never been on a bike. Like Mario's on Taylor & Racine. Yeah. Mario's. I hadn't been there in like 10 years & it was high time I took a little visit there. So I peddled, peddled, peddled for all of 13 & God's disc & found that I was, again, lost. This time in not such a safe a place as the woods but on 29th & Damen. Uh oh. Lost? Again? What do I do? Put on the Can Can Sessions & keep peddling, that's what I did. And what did I find? A race with another biker. He looked at me on my street bike & I looked at him on his little dirtbike. Our eyes narrowed & we snarled at each other. And then came the moment of judgement. I felt pumped. I felt afraid of losing to a 14-year old on a dirtbike. I felt like my legs were about to fall of by this point. Who would win? Who owned the road? And smoked my ass, he did. How did you feel then, you sissy? I felt like a loser but then realized that I was only like 10 blocks from Mario's & felt a whole lot better. Until I realized that I couldn't walk.

So in desperate need of protein, Nick & I took another run for the border & I felt better with hot sauce in my belly. The end.

10 Comments:

Blogger ica said...

MC Chris? The guy who does stuff for Adult Swim? How was the show?

1:35 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

I went to see Tha 446 & they got "boo"ed. The funny thing is that they're just joking. The whole thing is a big joke. MC Chris (yes, the guy from Adult Swim) was aight. Not really the genre of music I usually listen to but whatever. All in all it was really, really fun. How was your weekend?

2:12 PM

 
Blogger Ajax said...

That's awesome you found leaves big enough for your breasts.

4:33 PM

 
Blogger ica said...

It was good, thanks for asking! Saturday night I hung out w/ friends in Elgin and played that bean bag game, where you toss the bags into a hole. Sunday I went to a jazzfest and put my feet in the lake and fed birds and ran around throwing sand.

11:47 AM

 
Blogger emertron said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:39 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Ajax: yes, god was looking favorably toward me that day. And the doublesided tape helped, too.

Jess: that sounds so nice. I need a nice, wholesome weekend.

3:47 PM

 
Blogger ica said...

Do you like Jazz? I know there's a jazzfest coming up in Englewood soon and also THE jazzfest in Grant Park.

5:55 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Yes. I really like Jazz. We should make a point to go b/c I'm broke & imagine that it's free entertainment.

10:11 AM

 
Blogger The Innominate Blogger said...

You removed a comment? Musta been good.

Re: The hot shirt - The whole of Tha 446 (including the female rappers) who didn't already know you were all, "Who was THAT?" So I was all, "Emertron". Then they were all, "DAMN!"

Then the story ended.

1:05 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Removed comment: I'd made it but decided that it sucked & took it off.

Personal spanks for Tha 446 "Damn"s. Omigod! Could I be a groupie with hot shirts?

1:27 PM

 

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