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Thursday, October 06, 2005

It's Ulcer Time


Seriously, I think I'm dying. I'm getting an ulcer & stuff. I swear. I think that maybe work should pay for a week-long "rejuvination trip" to somewhere in like New Mexico or Arizona or something. One of those mystical places where I can do yoga & talk with ghosts of Native Americans & shit. A friend of mine did that but she went all the way to India. She said it was awesome & I believe her.

Maybe I should just make sure that I go to my bed because everytime I sleep on the couch this happens. But seriously, this time it's totally an ulcer. I swear. Black coffee doesn't seem to be helping at all.

The proof is in the pudding.

First of all, where is this proof pudding? I've been hearing this phrase for years now & every time I eat pudding I prove nothing more than that I still like pudding. Especially vanilla pudding. No new mathematical epiphanies are happening here. I'm not inventing new methods of directed evolution. Although, I don't know how you could directly evolve anything other than how it's already directedly evolving but whatever. See, no proofs. Failure.

I'm having a party tomorrow. It will be awesome. It will be fun. I am sorry if you can't be there. You will miss a fun party. Instead, you should come & carve pumpkins with us in a couple of weeks when I get back from visiting my dad. My dad's going to take me to a party. But I don't think that it's the same sort of party as tomorrow. Something official with the hospital where he works now or something. I'll make sure to wear a very pretty dress.

Speaking of pretty dresses...I'm going to be in the Nutcracker this year. I will get to wear a pretty dress in that, too, & I'll get to prance around on stage. This, too, will be awesome. More details to come.

This uneventful post brought to you by the lack of proof pudding & a raging enferno in my stomach.

9 Comments:

Blogger etro said...

Have yot tried butterscotch? I think the answer you're looking for might be there.

2:19 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

You mean I can eat something super-sweet & get rid of my bellyache? You just might be a genius. Will try tonight & write a report. Maybe I'll get Butterscotch pudding.

4:43 PM

 
Blogger nk said...

I think what Hon Bill Cosby is trying to say with his famed locution is the following:

There is justification for your propositionall acclaimed love of pudding to be found in the non-propositional pudding.

It's an ingenious epistemological manouver.

If you live in Toronto, I'm inviting myself to your party.

7:33 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

I live in Chicago. However, if you'd like to drive 8 hours, you're welcome to attend. And if you don't steal, you have a place to crash. If you do steal, I'll pass you off on to a friend.

10:44 AM

 
Blogger nk said...

I'm a looter


of love.

12:04 PM

 
Blogger erin said...

can i come see you in the nutcracker even though i steal?

12:18 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

NK: Looters of love welcome.

Of course, Erin. I will be having a party after that, too. You are coming tonight, correct? You better. I know...oh shit, I don't know where you live now. Crap.

12:31 PM

 
Blogger erin said...

ha ha of course i'm coming tonight.

1:08 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Woot woot! Bring your drinking shoes & leave your pants at home.

1:20 PM

 

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