ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Operation Halloween

Operation Make Costume=underway, legs=done, torso & arms=tonight.
Operation Going Out Plan=kind of underway
Operation Eat Candy=so underway that operation may need to be aborted in order to fit into skinny jeans post Operation Halloween. shit shit shit

Halloween, a haiku
ghouls and goblins and
pumpkins and candy, I sure
love you Halloween.

Speaking of scary things, Sunday afternoon I grabbed some lunch with a friend at Milk & Honey (best BLT, ever) & saw Megan & she's wearing rollerskates on Halloween again, which is awesome, & she said that yes, we should all go out together again. Remember last year. Ha ha. Neither do I.

Stay focused.

Okay okay. So on the way back to Ethan's place to make cookies (mmmm....coookies) I saw a sign.

And it opened up my eyes. I saw a sign. Life is demanding without understanding.

This sign was for a psychic. Yeah! A PSYCHIC! At special discount rates, no less. I was going to ask questions like "will my boobs stay perky" and "will I marry a really really rich man who will shower me with gifts" and "where will my next orgasm come from". But alas, despite the neon OPEN sign, no one answered the door. I guess they must have sensed that last question & decided not to delve into that issue.

No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong.

Dissappointed & stuffed from eating too many parmesan chips, I drug my feet back to the car. Where could we go? I felt so empty. I needed someone to tell me how it was all gonna be. What was going to happen. And where, oh where, is that goddamn orgasm? My distorted state told me that I should bake half of the cookies & sit on the couch, eating the other half in dough form. Sigh.

Until...we saw another sign! This one was for the new Scientology Center in Lakeview. Wow. They'll tell me what to do. What my future will bring. And will definitely take my money!

So we entered, immediately confronted with a shrine to L. Ron, complete with 3x lifesize bust of Mr. Hubbard himself. So I put in a fake name & prepared myself to be dazzled. No dazzlement. However, I did get a personality test so I'm gonna take that & come back with my fake name to find out a fake personality for my fake person. We did, however, enlighten my friend's roommate to the point that he's now officially scared of me for how much I was laughing while reading the brochure. "Murder is not healthy". ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously, it was a whole chapter. It's like those street signs that you're like "duh, why would I ever do that & why is that there?". Answer: because apparently, it's been a problem in the past. Uuuuhhhhhh....

I think I need another hobby.

So instead of the intended cookie making, we decided to go to Sheffield's, have a bloody mary & discuss the lack of our new-found scientologiness. Oh, and watch the Sox win. Sweet.

In closing, my neuro-tissues apologize for being complete, incoherent idiots today.


Blogger nk said...


10:23 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Potato chips sprinkled with fresh parmesan cheese. Yum yum.

11:38 AM

Blogger erin said...

oh my god your psychic is one of the ladies from ace of base. i was wondering whatever happened to them.

ps. i took a picture of a sign in ibiza that showed a car driving off a bridge into the ocean. i think it means "kill yourself."

5:44 PM

Blogger emertron said...

OMG! You're right! They also predicted that all that she wanted was another baby & she'd be gone tomorrow. Holy crap, Erin, you're a genius!

5:58 PM

Blogger ica said...

Whatcha doin Saturday night?

7:32 PM

Blogger emertron said...

I think I'm gonna hit up Tha 446 & Go! Team show at the Metro. However, plans are still kind of up in the air. I'll call Megan & let you know prolly tomorrow. Wanna come with for the drunken festivities?

10:12 AM

Blogger Conti said...

Yes, I do for sure. Look for me. I'll be wearing a black hat.

3:16 PM

Blogger emertron said...


Ha ha. I'm gonna get drunk & walk around asking everyone in a black hat if they're Mike Conti. I'll get back to you with the responses.

So far sociology & statistics studies have come up with conclusive (sociologically) but anti-theoretic (stats) results. Hopefully, this'll turn out better than the Birthday Quiz.

3:27 PM

Blogger erin said...

they're all gonna be like "who mike conti?"


4:19 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Erin, you should meet me out & we can run around asking for Mike Contis.

4:37 PM

Blogger ica said...

What was your costume? I know I saw you, I know I should know this, just please remind me.

3:31 PM

Blogger emertron said...

I threw together some ninja ballerina action at the last minute because I locked myself out of my apartment but the fat suit was in there, too, so I was costumeless & then just went & bought a cheap costume with chicken-chucks.

Thank you thank you thank you for the directions on Saturday night. I was a little lost (both physically & mentally).

5:27 PM


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