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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Idle Hands


So I get to wait around a lot, which kind of sucks but oh well because then other times I'm super busy & totally swamped, right? Guess what. Today's a waiting day. Tra la la.

GIVE ME ALL YOUR BUDGET FIGURES! (go fish)

And I have to lock myself in the little office that I sit in that's part of a bigger office. Wanna know why? Because they're spraying this stuff on some of the windows, right? So that the windows get a nice frosted look so people can sleep in their offices. And I don't really know if I'm going to puke from it or not but definitely know that this is some powerful stuff. Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Actually, my head is thinking right this very instant of exploding. Kapow. First I thought it an ear & sinus infection because those come & visit my sad little head drainage stuffs all the time but then I thought. NO! It must be the bird flu. Avian Influenza sounds better & quite a bit more serious. Come on now, who's actually going to take 'bird flu' with any more than a grain of salt? But I guess it's some pretty serious stuff, yeah? So what if I really DID get the Bird flu? And I had like 23 hours to live? What is it that I really want to do? I can tell you that there would be a lot of really good food involved & possibly a prostitute. ha ha. Just kidding. I think buying a lot of presents would be in order, too, you know? And spending time with special people like my mom & schmale & neat-o jets. Just run around eating & buying things because when I die is when my life insurance kicks in & that would probably cover the money I would spend, right? But it wouldn't if I bought an island but why would I ever buy and island if I could never go to it? Oh! And love. I want to find true love for the last day I was to hypothetically be alive.

But how do we know we really are alive?


Where would one go about this? Where do you find love in a billions of people world? Love, actually. I know that lots of people say 'i love you' at bars but I really wouldn't have time for that & would probably just get drunk & forget about the whole love thing & totally pass out & miss the last day. Bar=no. People who are in love are always going to zoos & stuff. Walking around, holding hands & saying things like 'ooooo! look at the monkeys' & 'snakes are so elegant' & 'did you see the size of that turd that just came out of the elephant's ass?'. But you need to already be in love to go to the zoo. Lonely, sad, dying people don't hang out in zoos. Then I thought of who I already know that I could love & of course Conti came to mind. He's always putting things that he loves on Craigslist, like cages & his friend, Dean, & stuff & I thought. Oh wow! What a great idea! I could find love & a couch. So that's what I did. Couch=done deal. Just waiting for the love. So that's what's going to happen, I'm going to find love on Craigslist. Well, maybe not, but I will post the funny responses I get.

I think maybe I should get some fresh air.

7 Comments:

Blogger Ajax said...

"What's not to love about Conti!"

(new Conti ad campaign)

3:58 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

I think I still know a couple people at Leo Burnett. I'll put a call in.

4:25 PM

 
Blogger nk said...

Zoos are for lovers? I kind of agree, though we should probably include prepubescent school kids, no?

11:23 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Yes. Good point.

11:08 AM

 
Blogger ica said...

CONTI IS FAMILY FRIENDLY!!

public service announcement

1:47 PM

 
Blogger Clare said...

And Conti would name your vagina! (If you haven't already)

4:22 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Who is Conti?

3:38 PM

 

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