ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Monday, November 07, 2005

Things that make you go hhhmmmmmm...

Um, I really don't think that I should ever have to ask myself why air conditioning is being pumped into the office on the 7th of November.


So I discovered last night that my shiny new standard cable at basic prices means essentially nothing, as I receive 5 sports channels but not one Comedy Central. (head hung low) So I started thinking, maybe this is god's way of pointing & laughing. And since I don't get NBC or ABC (is that really still a channel?) and the internet is still all effed, I called Comcast (dear Comcast, eat a bag of dicks. thanks, em) to report that they need to run a new cable line over the roof of the building where I presently reside. They kept saying "so you ordered Basic Cable?". This at first made me a little nervous. Like they're tricking me. You know? As if they KNOW that they set me up with Standard & I'm this weasely, cheap little girl who just doesn't want to dish out an extra $20 for Standard Cable but I really really really want Comedy Central so I can watch hungover marathons of Reno 911 & the Daily Show every night at 10. But then I thought that maybe they were in shock that anyone actually ordered Basic service anymore. So I think I'm going to have to come clean if I want to sleep at night & have them turn it off. Or start paying more money. Sigh. I guess I kind of like Bravo & The History Channel & Discovery & sometimes The Learning Channel & Oxygen because they have the sex grandma. Damn you, Comcast, damn you. You give me a taste of what it's like to be a real American, sitting around in jammies, eating Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip (fav any time of the year ice cream) flipping between a biography of Cary Grant & the Sex Grandma on a Sunday night & then take it away or make me pay for it.


Blogger mandy said...


3:20 PM

Blogger Conti said...

In Texas the devils name is Time Warner Cable,

3:46 PM

Blogger emertron said...

We should have a Sex Grandma party.

4:39 PM

Anonymous Cat furniture make own said...

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4:48 PM

Blogger ica said...

Is ABC really a channel? You don't watch Desperate Housewives?

6:50 PM

Blogger Antonio Hicks said...

I was just browsing various blogs as I was doing a search on the word halloween, and I just wanted to say that I really like what you've done with your blog, even though it wasn't particularly related to what I searched for. I appreciate your postings, and your blog is a good example of how a blog should be done. I've only just recently started a Posters website - feel free to visit it when you get a chance if you wish. Much success, antonio.

6:36 AM

Blogger emertron said...

Admittedly, I've checked out the ladies of Wisteria Lane twice but got bored quickly. Yes, ABC is a channel & I want it for an even worse reason. All My Children on holidays off.

Do you watch DH?

10:33 AM

Blogger Ajax said...

If by "DH" you mean "Don joHnson", then yes.

12:02 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Is there any other "DH"?

12:49 PM

Blogger Ajax said...

Yes, magician Doug Henning, but I didn't think you'd be talking about him.

2:00 PM

Blogger emertron said...

No, was referring to the one & only Don joHnson. You sure do know a lot of magicians. Your kids must have the coolest birthday parties ever. I only know a clown. He volunteers at the Children's Hospital with me & kind of freaks me out so I stay in the ER most of the time.

2:21 PM

Blogger Conti said...

whats the name of the hospital where the one armed man was?

3:43 PM

Blogger emertron said...

I think there are one-armed men in like all hospitals. Especially hospitals in geographic areas where diabetes (namely Type 2) is prevalent.

Are you seeking a specific one-armed man?

3:58 PM


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