ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Friday, November 04, 2005

Tra la la one effed up morning

Slowest. Cable guy. Ever. Evereverever. Reminded me of the movers I hired a little while back. But he didn't stand around & comment on how all of my furniture looks like jewelry boxes & instead, he stood around & focused on me living by myself in this big place...all alone? you use all this space?...uh, yeah. me and my SUPER FEROCIOUS CAT. he's resting up for night duty...I had all of this free time on my hands when the Cable Guy was at my place so I cleaned & straightened & you know what happens when you clean & straighten? You find shit that you tucked away, hoping that somehow it would decompose & just be gone without having to deal with it.

Ain't no magic in the breakdown baby.

Alas, while putting together a place where I can keep my dance stuff that's out in the open enough that I won't forget it on ballet days but looks nice I came across some ex stuff. Dun dun dun (descending notes). I'm all about dating karma & feel it's not something to fuck with. I don't treat others' hearts recklessly & am not fond of my own treated in such a matter. Although first instincts thrust me towards the garbage, I have replaced many a cd due to someone else holding it for ransom or claiming it as their own. My own policy is that one attempt to exchange is warranted. After that, it's fair game. Very UN, yes? After my straightening escapade I still had about an hour & a half to think. My mind started to wander into the male/female territory. But instead of the usual practicing of "it's not you it's me" & trying to keep a straight face while I said "no, really, size doesn't matter" & "that's okay, you can get me next time", I dug a little deeper. Which is a very dangerous thing. DANGEROUS!

And this is how it went...

Earlier this week, I was alerted by Slate Magazine that Maureen Dowd wrote quite an article in the NY Times regarding modern women & gender roles & men & crap like that. Although not fluent in her work (spunky, witty, fun), like recreational drugs, I've dabbled. And like recreational (ahem) drugs & Ms. Anna Quindlen, I got bored quickly and moved on (although I will admit that Object Lessons was my fav book at age 14, shortly before reading East of Eden, which in turn blew Ms. Q. the fuck out of the water). Back to the point, there's been a bit of a backlash from Ms. Dowd's article, of which I find just as interesting as the article itself. The Hot Librarian wrote about it & made some good points. Apparently, many a devil's advocate have picked apart Ms. Dowd, pointing out that there are a few crucial details missing. I particularly enjoyed Slate's decision to use ammo & paint the "oh, poor me, i have a pulitzer & now i can't find a man" portrait for a small part of the article when sources say that Ms. Dowd has no problem finding company on a weekend night. Regardless of how I agreed or disagreed with Ms. Dowd, I find this topic rears its ugly head quite frequently. As soon as I think that it's over, the cycle starts up. You know, feminazi to housewife...the struggle continues. Did feminism screw us over? In the article, Ms. Dowd refers to The Rules. Ah, The Rules. Leah, roommate Sophomore year in college, tossed it at me & I couldn't help myself. She told me that she was a "Rules Girl" & thought I could learn a thing or two from it. I read it. How could I not? At first, I huffed an puffed about it. What? Wear makeup when I go for a jog? Are you kidding me? I'm working out & could care less what the hell I look like? The argument in the book is that you never know who you'll meet & always want to enhance your best features. Ha. This book is crap, I said to myself, making fun of it with my girlfriends. At that point the whole thing seemed silly & I was stuck on the idea that if any woman was to follow those "rules" that she, too, was just as silly as the book. This was a very close-minded view & surely shut me off to lessons these ladies could have taught.

Within all of this slinging muck from one side to the other, we're forgetting that we don't all want the same thing, nor are we intended to all receive love in the same ways. Yes, Ms. Dowd, you are absolutely correct in that men want someone to take care of them, to baby them & what-have-you & for the men to take care of the women, take charge, pay & have something to offer even if it is sometimes looked at as dependence. Some men. Yes, there is also a trend that women of my generation are tending towards changing their last name upon marriage more than women in the '80s and '90s. But isn't that typical reaction of any movement. Clearly, artistic movements are not all the same & tend to (or at least Western movements) be reactionary. Case in point: Baroque to Classical to Romantic periods of music. Telemann & Vivaldi to Mozart & Haydn to Chopin & Brahms. All three different periods with the bounce from emotional to logical to emotional styles.

It all comes down to what you want, the choices you make to get that & the consequences with your decision. If your goal is to get married, have children & stay home, fantastic. Please don't constantly complain to me that your husband works a lot to support the way of life that you two have chosen. Likewise, if your choice is to attend graduate school to become a professor in neurobiology, that's great too. But once I get called repeatedly with whining of working late, writing papers & research taking up majority of your time, I will offer you a shoulder, a hug & coffee but no sympathy. 2 extreme cases, however, realize that with each one you will be giving something up. Just because I don't fit into living by The Rules doesn't mean that the book's a terrible thing. The terrible thing would be if I did adhere myself to something that I am not.

Why is it still so important that we, as women, still need to find husbands? Upon further research, I ran into more literature on how to "catch & keep a man" than I ever wanted to know existed. We wonder why some men treat us as if we are prizes to be won. China dolls to be placed in a cage. The only thing that I feel may be worth catching and keeping would be a kitten or butterfly. Not a man. In the case that is your way of going about things, you should probably be ready to be treated as a prize. And with prizes are expectations. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to settle down & start a family at some point. However, I'm not anywhere close to running to it. It'll happen when it's supposed to. We tend to focus on The Cat Lady instead of Auntie Mame.

Different strokes for different folks.

What I haven't heard mentioned, yet, is one unsided truth. Regardless of whether you're for or against the feminist movement, it gave us women options. It's no longer shocking or a struggle for a woman to become a doctor or a lawyer or a CEO. At one time we didn't have that option, or at least not so much accessible or acceptable. Nor should anyone be shunned for deciding to stay at home & raise kids or thought of as any less of a woman if she opted for nursing school rather than med school. If you only date above a certain tax bracket, more power (and precious stones) to you. If you want to be a rockets scientist, that's cool too.

I will take my soap box with me now.


Blogger ica said...

Where'd you get that smoking baby picture?

6:52 PM

Blogger emertron said...

From the same site I got Action Figure Jesus, Action Figure Moses, Action Figure Nurse & Action Figure Librarian. It's kinda sick.

10:35 AM

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2:49 AM


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