ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Friday, February 03, 2006

Big (Top) Day!


Last night began 6 weeks of trapezing lessons. And you know what?

IT'S AWESOME!!!

You know what else? It's effing hard. Man, am I ever sore today?!?! But that could also be the combination ballet and then trapeze. Yeah, totally made some monkey sounds & scratched my pits & stuff. Ha! Itchy pits! But all of that acid in my muscles is worth it because before you know it, I'll be solid, like a rock. Rock 'n Roll. Rock steady. ROCK ON!!!

Okay, no, but for reals, I learned how to hang by my arms, so I hung & then (since I'm some sort of 'natural'), I got to do kind of a kip up but only with one foot & slide my leg through & then the other one (by the end I was almost two feet at a time!) & then I hung upside down & made the monkey sounds. Ooo ooo ooo aaah aaah! So when you want to sit on the bar I learned that you're not supposed to pull yourself up with arm strength because then you end up looking like Popeye & that's really not so much a good look if I want to attract dudes, you know? So you use your legs & abs to pull yourself up. My abs hurt like they would if I laughed all night & woke up the next morning with ab-hurt. I feel alive!

And now I'm totally hooked. Hooked on Hanging. I want to hang all the time now & will definitely hang more this weekend. That makes me think that maybe I have a future in the circus. The circus has some pretty cool people at it, you know? There's a lady with a beard (although there was one of those in my grade school cafeteria, too) & lions (roar) & bears that ride unicycles. But I really don't like clowns because, well, let's face it, they're creepy, so that could be an issue, & my dad let us watch Killer Klowns from Outer Space when we were like 9 & that seriously scarred me for life. All those dead people wrapped in cotton candy cocoons. So maybe the cirus is out but hanging is in. Jazz is also in.

JAZZ HANDS!!!

Phillip & I are hitting up Sunday morning class (it's kind of like church but fun). And then we'll go stuff our faces at Ann Sather's or something. Nummy Num! But maybe somewhere new because of this 'broadening horizons' thing. Jazz, trapezing, what next?

Carl Jung. Yeah, my usual Friday night date & I are hitting up E-town (that's Evanston for you not 'hip to the language') for some suuuurious Jungian discussion action & then meeting up with Dave & Megan. Remember them? I went to their wedding & they had a chocolate fountain & then Pat asked me to marry him but I said 'no way jose, I want a chocolate fountain...and a big ol' ring, mister!'. Maybe if he shows up at my home with a Cartier box & a chocolate fountain I'll consider it. Woah! Totally got off track there. So it'll be awesome, too. But not as awesome as a chocolate fountain. Nothing, is as awesome as that. Well, maybe trapezing.

Why is the air conditioning on in the office today? It's effing February.

19 Comments:

Blogger erin said...

did i tell you my mom has a chocolate fountain? come to the vday party and i promise it will be there.

2:18 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

You've sold me. Do we get to watch porno at your party, too? Because that would be pretty funny to watch porn at a vd party!

2:30 PM

 
Blogger J-Mo said...

I think it's so weird that you're taking trapeze lessons. But cool at the same time.

I can now say "ya i know a trapeze artist." cause that's what you are. an aritst. and don't you forget it.

4:30 PM

 
Blogger ica said...

she promised the fountain for my sugar high but was it there? just something to think about...

so are you serious about this hanging? seriously? where are you doing this? I WANT TO HANG TOO!!

4:59 PM

 
Blogger ica said...

ELGIN IS ETOWN BY THE WAY & I'M PRETTY CONFIDENT IT COULD BE EVANSTON IN A FIGHT IT HAS THE NUMBERS AND IT HAS THE SPUNK.

5:02 PM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

Did you say you're hooked on hooking, because that'd be sweet too.

5:23 PM

 
Blogger screetus said...

Trapeze training -- do you realize how, um, flexible you'll be? Could have its advantages.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space fucking rocked! That movie was way ahead of its time. Okay perhaps not.

11:39 PM

 
Blogger Homeperm said...

i'm mostly impressed you're a natural!

5:13 AM

 
Blogger mandy said...

i think we will have r kelly's trapped in the closet playing at our party.

4:59 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Confidential to Mandy: if I bring Mike Jones will you play it???

p.s. Thanks for the encouragement!!!

7:33 PM

 
Blogger Conti said...

I want one of those chocolate fountains but I'm going to put bar-b-q sauce in it instead. Either that or mustard for ham sandwiches.

12:17 PM

 
Blogger mandy said...

i have never heard mike jones, so sure you can play it!

12:48 PM

 
Blogger erin said...

who mike jones? MIKE JONNNNNES! so are you coming to this party or what? ethan is pissing me off.

4:34 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Yeah. I'll be there. Not sure how late, though, 'cause I gots me some 3 hours of dancin' on Sunday morning. I found this fabu place in Andersonville that I suuuriously want to move to & dance dance dance dance like ALL the times.

5:26 PM

 
Blogger erin said...

yay. i'll provide the chocolate fountain.

5:50 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

You bring the fountain, I'll bring the Mike Jones. And just for you, I'll do some bootylicious moves from Hip Hop class. Kirby has me 'bounce' & shit for reals. It's funny to watch ballerinas bounce.

5:53 PM

 
Blogger Conti said...

If you Chicago bitches are going to listen to Houston music you should go with someone besides Mike Jones. Please download Z-ro - Sunshine or Fat Pat - Tops Drop. They are oldies but goodies.

1:31 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

But you see, Conti, that Mike Jones is just SO EFFING BAD that it makes him good. I will, however, check out your recommendations as well. thanks!

3:08 PM

 
Blogger erin said...

write a new post i'm sick of being jealous of you trapeezing.

4:26 PM

 

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