ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Trapezing=>Jung=>hip hop=>??????

It's decided. Next thing on the list (other than getting over my fear of the dark) is lacrosse. I'm NOT letting another summer go by without playing at least a wee bit. Nosireebob. Upon this decision, that I made like 2.4 minutes ago, I looked into the options...

There's a competitive women's league in Chicago. This I want nothing to do with for 2 reasons. First, really don't have the time to get THAT into it. Second, there's a girl on the team that I can't stand. Can you believe it? Of all of the sports in all the world in all the cities SHE has to be playing what I want to play. And I know that if I went out for the team that she would totally be mean to me & push me down & stuff because she's way bigger than me. That bitch.

There's no I in team, but there sure as hell is a me.

So another option would be recruiting for a little every-weekend or Tuesday night sort of thing. Hhmmmm...I've recruited before. I did sorority rush & that was recruiting. Only this kind of recruiting would have nothing to do with judging the candidates behind closed doors. Or would it? That'd be hilarious! 'No you can't play with us because, well, even though it's a noncompetitive, fun environment, well, we just all think that you're ugly.' But if it's noncompetitive, recruiting is kind of pointless because we'd just play each other & that might get boring & lacrosse sticks are just layin' around like those football things & they're not so cheap as to just play like once & be done with it, either.

So I guess it's a deadend & my dream of becoming a professional lax (that's short for lacrosse! see, i already know the lingo!) player is shattered.

Hhmmmppphhhh...maybe I'll just ride my bike more.


Blogger nk said...

Ride your bike more. It's a Bianchi.

3:46 PM

Blogger Ajax said...

Have you considered competitive yodeling?

5:27 PM

Blogger Jaysie said...

lets start our own "beginners" lacrosse league.

7:37 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

there's always rugby.

9:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steal cars. Running from the 5-0 is a great workout.

10:57 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Jaycie: hell yeah! We could run around the field after work! Let's discuss at Julie Lab tonight

11:13 AM

Blogger Sean said...

Have youlooked into softball or the lpga?

12:27 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Dear Sean: I do not play sports in which I must catch or throw with my hands. I prefer the projectile objects at least a foot & a half away from my hand & farther from nose (see: tennis good, basketball BAD!!!). LPGA's an option but do you still have to be butch to join?

2:18 PM

Blogger Sean said...

yes, but if I was a butch I'd totally do some of the girls on the tour.

3:03 PM

Blogger Jaysie said...

how many girls does it take to make a lacrosse team... or more importantly two lacrosse teams?

3:19 PM

Blogger J-Mo said...

I'll play with you. I played for six years or so back in the day, and i think i still might have a stick lying around some where.

3:40 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Kick ass, J-Mo!

Jaycie, I figured we could just grab a bunch of people & toss around, learn some rules & play some fun games. Something supercasual since I don't have too much experience. I do, however, have a friend who played in college & she knows the game like no other. Plus, my bro & some of his friends that played for a while. Let's talk about it tonight.

4:10 PM

Blogger Conti said...

I have a friend named JMoney that plays collegiate lacrosse. He is handsome too. I'm sure he would train you for $1000/month. Think it over.

5:14 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Could I just pay him in cookies & sandwiches? I make REALLY good cookies & sandwiches.

5:21 PM

Blogger P. Diggler said...

Why not revolutionize the sporting world by combining cycling and lacrosse. A form of polo if you will, but full contact, obviously. You could call it cyclecrosse. (insert laughter)

5:49 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Sean said...

yes, but if I was a butch I'd totally do some of the girls on the tour. "

Paula Creamer. I'd nail her six ways from Sunday.

10:04 AM

Blogger Conti said...

His nickname is JMoney for a reason

11:18 AM

Blogger emertron said...

DAMNIT!!!!! Hey Conti, when are you getting your ass up here? I have a ham sandwich with mustard that's been waiting for like 3 months now.

Weldon: will you be on my team?

11:30 AM


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