ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Behold...the fat suit


Hi there everybody! This week's really busy so far so I haven't had a chance to tell you all about Chidittybangbang. Guess what? It was really superfun. And such a total success.

Early early on Saturday morning I received a call.

From God?

No! From Jake! (remember Jake from way back & how he has those rad leather pants & I wanna call him Sid & he's gone with Con & I to The Falcon a bunch?)

"You ready?"

"For what?"

"Chidittyfun, dumdum!"

"Oh, yeah. Gimme a couple minutes."

"You haven't showered yet, have you?"

"Yeah I have."

"Liar"

"Okay, but just give me 20 minutes & I'll be ready, promise!"

23 minutes later we were on our way up to that effed up Milwaukee(sp?)/Damen/North intersection where I lost my car after the Delgados show last year & wandered around for like 25 minutes pretending I knew where I was going.

We set it all up & waited. But we didn't have too wait long because woah nelly, people started showing up before registration. One team, two teams, 17 teams, 21 teams!!!!! There were biohazard people & cowboys & pirates & matching speedos & a wedding peoples & hawaiian shirts (i got leied!) & tons of groups that I just have no idea what they were but they were really really fun & TEAM DOUBLE DARE!!!!!!

Omigosh, it was like Halloween but everybody dressed up & nobody said 'ha ha, I'm myself, get it?!?!'. And the bell went off & the teams were off, racing down Damen with their shopping carts & pullers & mushers. Quite the sight. At the first checkpoint I was yelling directions & who comes racing down the street but my good pal, Jen! I hadn't seen her since a frat party at Purdue back about 7 years ago. Wow, she looks great & we were jumping up & down like girls do & screaming & stuff & like 'omg i tooooootally missed you!!!!!!!!!'.

And then the racers left the Phyllis' & headed to Club Lucky & eventually to The Hideout where everybody danced around & drank & took pictures & it was so much like an apres ski (but without skiing, just the drinking at 2 p.m. in the sun part). And the best part was that it wasn't just a good idea of how to have fun in Chicago in the winter, it was a food drive & a successful one at that.

Total=923 pounds of non-perishable food!!!!!

So that was big & after it was over, a bunch of us got some burritos, went to Jimmy's & passed out from exhaustion & drunkenness. Good times!

12 Comments:

Blogger Ajax said...

You should have told the guy in the fat suit to put down the sign so that I could see his fat suit better.

1:22 PM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

"Wow, she looks great & we were jumping up & down like girls do & screaming & stuff & like 'omg i tooooootally missed you!!!!!!!!!'."

But did you make out?

5:25 PM

 
Blogger ica said...

i didn't know it was a food drive.

do you have photos?

7:28 PM

 
Blogger Spo said...

a cartoon of events played while reading this

1:11 PM

 
Blogger nk said...

I like your hair.

1:53 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

CB: I'll leave that adventure to you.

Jess: yep.

Spo: thanks! That's pretty much how the day felt.

NK: thanks!

2:46 PM

 
Blogger J-Mo said...

That sounds awesome.

3:53 PM

 
Blogger erin said...

i totally wanted to do this too bad your stupid boyfriend is disorganized to the extreme.

ps. jessica you totally knew it was a food drive and thanks to the miracle of google talk i can email you proof.

5:03 PM

 
Blogger screetus said...

What a cool idea!

11:16 PM

 
Blogger Conti said...

wait is that you? i'm confused.

10:13 AM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Thanks screetus! It happens in NYC, San Fran, Portland & Chi. A Toronto sister event?

Conti: yes, I'm the one in the purple suit holding the double clock.

10:42 AM

 
Blogger Sean said...

All I notice are your boobs.

Signed,

Melissa Ethridge,Ellen Degeneres, and Every Boy.

2:12 PM

 

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