ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Hell Has Frozen Over

Okay, so you know how I have to keep the windows a little open to my apartment because it's like 70 hundred degrees in there? Right. Last night I came home to a freezing cold house. And when I say freezing, I mean, well, really effin' cold! I had to sleep in like 3 million layers & was laying in bed, watching my breath creep towards the ceiling, hoping that if I were to freeze to death that all of my friends & family know how much I love them and how could it be a just world if I were to freeze to death, with only a kitty by my side while Paris Hilton runs around free, wearing ugly clothes & looking like a very stupid bird getting laid all over the place?

Ha ha. Just kidding. We all know that Paris is just a robot. An evil evil robot.

Wow. I can't believe it's only Tuesday. It totally feels more like Wednesday or Thursday. Do you think it'd cut it if I was just like 'oh whoopsies! thought it was friday! my bad' if I just didn't show up to work? And it just makes it worse that I'm sitting around waiting right now. Wanna know what I do when I wait? Read a lot of blogs. And their Archives. This is a great way for me to get to know and stalk you. Find out where you usually go. What you usually do. You know, so that I can just SHOW UP!

Fancy meeting you here! Yeah. I hang out at this place ALL the time.

Just kidding. Most Archives are kinda boring (no offense, mine suck, too) & I have more important things to do. Like up my Freecell statistic. Right now I'm at 82% success rate with 927 wins & 210 losses. Wonder if there's a Freecell Championship. I could maybe win that. Just like I could probably win a Golden Girls Trivia Challenge. Anyhow, if you don't know what Freecell is, you should find out. And then you could get addicted. Really, it takes close to no skill. All you have to do is point & click. I've included a picture of what it looks like when you win. This awesome king guy congratulates you. Sweet.

Okay, well, since you really can't get those last 2 minutes of your life back, I'll stop now. But before I go, I'm going to highly recommend the new Beth Orton disc. It's really pretty.


Blogger Homeperm said...

i only recently figured out how to play freecell. but it has CHANGED MY LIFE. my stats suck compare to yours though. you're my freecell hero.

4:06 AM

Blogger kermit said...

hey, archives are cool. don't be dissin' the archives.
seriously though, it's interesting to see what people write when they think nobody's reading (at least to me it is, and i've been told on numerous occasions that i'm odd; i prefer to be even).

7:11 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Nah. I'd have to go with odd. They have all of the prime numbers but one, I mean, two. Well, you get the idea.

11:19 AM

Blogger Will said...

My archives are full of explosions and nekkid people.

1:12 PM


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