ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Monday, April 10, 2006

Seriously, what is going on here?

So yeah, the last few weeks have been downright confusing in the Land of Tron.

First of all, I've been having all of these crazy crazy dreams. And not like ha ha that was a little weird weird. More like did someone put a hallucinogen into my tea weird. This, dear blogosphere, does NOT induce good slumber. The only kinda okay thing is that they're not scary like the ones that I used to get. Just really really really weird. Like last night's...I was up in Toronto with my dad & for some reason completely neglected to call the BNN before arriving to set up bike times but then remembered it like 2 days into my trip but then when I tried calling, NK had died the night before. It was terrible. I was so sad in the dream. In another one a few days ago someone had broken into P's house (for some reason I was over there with Ian & Steph) and held the house hostage but not violently. He only wanted to hold a meeting on the front lawn to talk to the neighborhood about the Third Reich (and not to talk about its evil evil evilness). Superweird.

And thank goodness for Conner being with me this weekend. It was really windy on Friday & my apartment kept making noises. Usually it doesn't bother me but then again I haven't lived without an animal in 6+ years. Anyhow, remember Crazy Dan? That dude that 'accidentally' had my telephone in his jacket pocket? The one that I have very unaccidentally not called back oh, 17 times in a row? Yeah. He's been called twice on Thursday (at The 446 show) & once on Friday. And not at 5 or something. It was like midnight. So I was laying in bed, freaking out in my mind that he somehow found out where I live, climbed 3 stories onto my balcony & was in my apartment waiting to like tell me I'm a bitch or something. Which I totally am acting like one to him (duh) but really don't care because, as we may remember from about a year ago, I'm not dealing with any more psychos. And I really don't want to act like a big jerk so next time he calls I'm going to have Nick (or whatever male may be with me at the time) answer & say not to call me anymore or they'll break his face or something. Shiver. And I guess if I'm alone I'll have to do it myself.

So I've been making people stay with me (thank you wonderful volunteers!) so that I'm not alone every night. And tonight will be no exception. Especially considering the news that I just learned....THIS.

How could we let this happen? What is going on? And we wonder what causes wars. This, my friends, causes wars. Unfortunately, it looks like it's too late to stop it. We can, however, maybe stop this from ever happening in the future. I think I'm going to write to who ever it is that keeps producing Michael Bolton's music (?) and ask, no beg, them to never ever do this in the future & think of the children. Do we really want to raise our kids in a world with a Michael Bolton/Nicolette Sheridan duet album? I for one don't. And if he does continue to subject this world to such audio pollution I might just have to take matters into my own hands. Or walk around with marshmallow in my ears.

Sigh. Great. Looks like another sleepless night.

8 Comments:

Blogger nk said...

What a terrible dream! You were in Toronto, and I was dead! Oh my.

6:20 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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6:59 PM

 
Blogger P. Diggler said...

Why's nk always get to be in girls dreams? must be the mustache. Hey anonymous, I love shopping and secrets, where do I sign up.
This will help you sleep through its adorableness!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2336001057263201649

7:01 PM

 
Blogger J-Mo said...

I always find it cute when girls are scared of their own apartments and houses.

It makes being a "sweet" guy that much easier.

3:26 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

NK: I KNOW! That's why I was sad!

Weldon: Thank you. That is so much adorableness I almost exploded.

J: There need to be more 'sweet' guys in the world. I'm running out of people to call.

3:55 PM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

Michael Bolton's career has been all downhill ever since he cut the hair.

I heard instead of giving the hair to charity he instead burned it in front of a chemo patient. What an asshole.

11:55 PM

 
Blogger Homeperm said...

true story: once at work i googled images of michael bolton so that i could decorate my cubicle and whatnot. then instead of just hitting search i hit i'm feeling lucky or something. i'm unclear how it happened but it opened up on some giant homespun PORN SITE STARRING A MICHAEL BOLTON FAN. i've had illwill towards that man ever since.

8:07 AM

 
Blogger Conti said...

Are you on facebook? Can I poke you, tron?

11:16 AM

 

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