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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Better Make out a Will


I've come to the conclusion that I'm within the last of my days on earth. A mere weeks before my 27th birthday when I would have been enjoying grilled meat & ice cream cake (fuckers better be getting me ice cream cake or else...sorry, i'm a little testy, i have eaten 2 puddings and 2 crackers in 36 hours). And what about all of those glorious presents that someone else will have to enjoy? Sigh.

So I have this pain. It's not really all that specific, just kind of general abdominal pain which sometimes travels to my lower back. Yeah. I know, weird, huh? It started Sunday night in the middle of the night & I was up like every hour in pain but would roll over & sleep a little more. Figured the Egg Foo Young wasn't sitting well.

Monday morning was pretty painful & I was uncomfortable walking a lot. But hey, I'm a tough chick. No stupid little pain's gonna hold me back, especially from Chicago Pizza & Oven Grinder. After dinner I still felt a little uncomfortable but not TOO bad.

Then Tuesday morning happened. All yesterday entailed was gripping my desk & trying not to cry as dull pain resided in my abdomen & sharp pains pierced my stomach, upper back & random internal organs. I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO BALLET. Everything that I eat hurts more than it's worth. At first I figured that it was the gas leak that was caused when the delivery dudes came out on Saturday & yanked my stove halfway into the kitchen. But the symptoms aren't that close. So I've narrowed it down to 2 things. Either Satan impregnated me on Saturday night ala Rosemary's Baby OR I have a case of the Bird Flu. Because honestly, it really couldn't be anything else. Wait. Maybe I have SARS. OMG. That's it. I have SARS. Great, just great. Oh man, this sucks.

15 Comments:

Anonymous J Cubed said...

I bet it's Monkey Pox. Or Kitten AIDS.

1:48 PM

 
Blogger J-Mo said...

I think it's bird flu......or internal herpes.

Check with a pro tho i'm sometimes off.

3:28 PM

 
Blogger The Innominate Blogger said...

you are soooo pregnant...pregnant with appendicitis, that is.

4:17 PM

 
Blogger screetus said...

Yeah I'm thinking two words: A. Pendix.

On the bright side, you're still with us!

9:17 PM

 
Blogger nk said...

SARS is so 2004.

1:20 AM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Doctors say that it's a stomach flu. I say this fucking sucks. No dairy?!?!?! Oh dear what am I supposed to eat? No cheese. No milk. NO ICE CREAM.

NO MILKSHAKES UNTIL THE WEEKEND.

1 $1milkshake day lost. Why does the universe hate me this week?!?!?!?

OMG...spoildest brat ever.

2:46 AM

 
Blogger Homeperm said...

i'm with NK sars is so 2004. but stomach flu is so living in the now. stink for you though.

5:45 AM

 
Anonymous jcubed said...

No dairy on doctor's orders? That sounds GLORIOUS!

10:43 AM

 
Blogger Electronsean said...

or worse....you have the gay.

3:56 PM

 
Blogger erin said...

i am taking a survey.

do you like stone cold creamery?

for scientific purposes i hope you will respond to this survey at some point before july seven.

4:26 PM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Why yes, Erin, I do.

4:50 PM

 
Blogger Will said...

I thought that the title said Better Make Out WITH Will.

5:32 PM

 
Blogger nk said...

Are we going to get to go to $1 milkshake day when I am there?

4:04 PM

 
Blogger Ajax said...

A fun trick that life plays is that you get weird ailments as you get older and they don't really go away they just get worse and worse until you are a living wreck.

It's hilarious.

8:33 AM

 
Blogger ida gasp said...

I know this is probably a really stupid question, but have you been to adoctor yet?

3:34 AM

 

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