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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Farthead & Emertron Go To KFC


...An Adventurous Tale from Last Thursday

A few months ago KFC (formerly Kentucky Fried Chicken...the name changed because, I kid you not, the State of Kentucky copywrited its name so now anyone who wants to use it must pay royalties) came out with these 'Mashed Potato Bowls'. My discovery of this product occurred during an episode of ANTM. Despite the iffy placement (a show with a bunch of cute, skinny girls), I was hooked on the idea.

Mashed potatoes, corn, gravy, fried chicken bits & cheese...odeargod, I must have you.

From then on that's all I saw, even in dreams. Mmmmm....mashed potato bowls. One evening, while watching ER it was decided.

'Hey Farrah.'

'Yeah.'

'We really need to check those out.'

'Uh huh. But when?'

'Next Thursday. It will be our mission. We will get The Bowls.'

'I'm in.'

Despite looming deadlines, working until 10:30 at night & utter exhaustion (the real kind, not the Lindsay Lohan kind) all I could think about was those Bowls. And then came the day. Right at 5 we took off. We had a mission. We were off. And off we went. Ran some errands (in an attempt to alleviate some of the unavoidable guilt from ingesting such insanely decadent foods) & straight to the 51st Street KFC.

We turned the corner of 51st strip mall thingy.

'Hey Em, where is it?'

I looked...there's the Original Pancake House (where many a morning has been spent devouring Apple Pancakes) and the crappy grocery store but where was the KFC? I swear it was here before. I'd seen it at least 157 times.

And then there was a scream.

What was the KFC logo was only an awning with a visibly covered up KFC. What? How could this happen? Didn't they know that the Hyde Park area NEEDS those Bowls? We quickly climbed the stairs to see if it was true and yes, yes it was. 'Sorry for any inconvenience the following locations blah blah blah.' What were we to do? Should we just hit up the McDonald's? What was going on?

With a unanimous decision we were off again. To the nearest KFC. We would NOT let this dream die. We would get the bowls. 55th & State.

'Wait wait wait! That was it!'

'What?'

'THE KFC!!!! It's on the other side of the street. We're almost there!!!'

Farrah quickly turned the car around on the boulevard & we got closer. The feeling of desperation for a cornucopia of foods hung in the air. The excitement made us giddy. And then we arrived. And realized that not only was this a KFC but also an A&W. Holy crap, had all of our dreams come true? Could it be?

At this point we hurried out of the car & raced into the KFC/A&W, salivating at the promise of The Bowls (an at that point I realized that I could also get a Bacon Cheeseburger complete with mayo). Upon entering we found that there was no counter. Well, yes, there was an actual counter, only it was shielded by bullet-proof glass.

'Oh no! It doesn't look like they take plastic. Do you have ANY cash on you?'

'No.'

'Me neither.'

'This WILL happen. The universe can't be this perverse.'

And sure enough it wasn't. Plastic accepted.

So Farrah went ahead & ordered...'Mashed Potato Bowl, corn on the cob, honey bbq sandwich & a biscuit please'.

The woman behind the bullet-proof glass took the order, skeptically, & began working on the order. At that point, one of the other patrons staggered up to Farrah.

'Hey, that's a real nice purse you got.' The woman commented.

'Uh huh.' Farrah responded, clutching tighter on to the purse under her arm.

The cashier let us know that our order was ready. She looked at Farrah as Farrah took the food & looked over at me, my eyes showing complete signs of desperation & wonderment.

'Did you want something too?', the casher asked.

'Yeah. I'd like a Mashed Potato Bowl, bacon cheeseburger, macaroni & cheese, chili cheese fries & a medium rootbeer'.

The place was as silent as when I walked into the biker bar in Breckenridge wearing a suit.

'Mmmmm hmmmmm', the woman behind the bullet-proof glass said with a look of question.

What was so big about that? So I wanted an assortment of goodies. Is that a crime? Should I be punished for such requests? Paranoia?

'So you girls going to eat all that food?', chimed our recently-found apparently-cracked-out friend.

'We'll try', Farrah cheerily responded. We looked at each other as if the woman was crazy (which she might have been considering she walked around in circles swearing). Did she not think that what we ordered was a lot of food? We're HUNGRY.

Within 90 seconds the food was up. Grab it & go. First things first we dug into the chili cheese fries, laughing the whole way about how that woman thought it may be a lot of food. What was she thinking? We still had to make a run to the grocery store for ice cream & ginger ale for cranberry ginger ales. A lot of food? Psshhhaw!

Upon arriving back to Farrah's place & unpacking we realized just what everyone else was looking at us strangely for...the food took up pretty much the entirety of her dining room table.

Resolution: Yes, everything got eaten and it was delicious.

p.s. If you are to get The Bowls (which I highly recommend) I'd suggest that you leave the chicken on the side, as it tends to get a little soggy sitting in mashed potatoes.

8 Comments:

Blogger J-Mo said...

'Yeah. I'd like a Mashed Potato Bowl, bacon cheeseburger, macaroni & cheese, chili cheese fries & a medium rootbeer'

=

1480 calories, 56g of fat, 3940 mg of sodium, 201g of carbohydrates, and 43g of protein.

No lie. That is AWESOME!

4:10 PM

 
Blogger J-Mo said...

oops i forgot the bacon cheeseburger.

add on another 570 calories, 33g of fat, 1200mg of sodium, 41 g of carbs and 27g of protein.

that is now awesomer

4:12 PM

 
Blogger screetus said...

Note to self: 55th and State is GHETTO!!!

10:55 PM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

Oh dear. I would never touch those KFC bowls...my arteries are crying just reading about them.

1:39 AM

 
Blogger Homeperm said...

i would never touch them either. but that is not because they don't sound freakin' delicious.

4:49 AM

 
Blogger Electronsean said...

i am getting one today.

12:51 PM

 
Blogger Conti said...

You should "Try 4 tha Trio"

Eat at Arby's, KFC, + Taco Bell all within 30 minutes.

1:56 PM

 
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2:20 PM

 

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