ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Friday, August 18, 2006

No Sleep Til Scotland


T-2 weeks & a day until I leave for Scotland.

Woah. You mean that you have to travel to another hemisphere to get laid now?

No. I'm taking a vacation. Last one was 3 years ago to Vancouver.

That's not true. You went to Vegas last year.

Vegas doesn't count. It's not a vacation.

Oh right. I forgot. In order for something to be a vacation there can be no threatening to 'show these girls how to really dance' at the Saphire.

Shut up. I was drunk.

Wasn't that also the place where you walked up to the dj booth & told him that he was playing really shitty music?

Maybe.

They are so not letting you in there again.

Good riddance.

So on the 2nd I'm leaving. Holiday. Celebrate.

What I won't be doing for 2 weeks:
*Checking emails
*Checking voice messages
*Anything to do with work

What I will be doing for 2 weeks:
*Hiking through The Highlands
*Drinking Whiskey
*Actually putting my knowledge of Highlands dancing to use by showing the locals just how 'in tune' I am with their culture (after the whiskey)
*Soaking up as much Jaimers as possible before she leaves for Japan
*Visiting museums during the day in London
*Partying it up with Max during the night in London
*Meeting Neill's new baby
*Finishing Confederacy of Dunces (effing finally)

14 Comments:

Blogger iamnot said...

I'm jealous. I haven't been to Scottland in 20+ years and I'd love to go back.
BTW...um...what exactly are those dogs in the picture up to?

4:18 PM

 
Blogger Homeperm said...

i love that picture.

5:03 PM

 
Anonymous kermit said...

oh, sleep-deprived emertron,

when one is in scotland, one drinks scotch, not whiskey!

also, illinois and scotland are in the same hemisphere. they are on different continents.

6:18 PM

 
Blogger Grampa said...

I loved Confederacy of Dunces.

9:36 PM

 
Blogger Booster said...

Scotland?!

I am sooo jealous. Take a pic of a Highland Cow for me - I love those shaggy cuties.

10:45 PM

 
Anonymous jimh said...

Oh Kermit, one drinks scotch but one orders whiskey. In Scotland, whiskey is scotch. Bourbon is bourbon, but nobody drinks it.

Confederacy of Dunces is brilliant.

2:44 AM

 
Anonymous kermit said...

does that mean that if one asks for a spoon one gets a knife, jimh?

4:16 AM

 
Blogger Sun Follower said...

I am jealous, too! I haven't been on a real vacation in years as well! And I say when you're on vacation eat whatever you want, drink whatever you want, and be as merry as hell!

I agree with Jimh - Condereacy of Dunces is brilliant!

1:20 PM

 
Blogger Sun Follower said...

Confederacy of Dunces!!!!

(I'm a better speller than typist - I swear!)

1:22 PM

 
Anonymous jimh said...

Kermit,
Yes! It's like bizarro world, everything is opposite. Except forks and kilts, those are unchanged. Be careful how you pronounce "fork" however.

Similarly, if you ask for a "scotch" in Scotland, you might get a lewd proposition from the bartender. So, you might just want to try that, if you're game.

So you see, smartasses get along fine in Scotland. Let's all go together!

1:32 AM

 
Anonymous kermit said...

hey, any country in which i have to do less laundry (since i don't have to wear underpants) is an upstanding, virtuous nation i should (and hopefully will) visit.

besides, from what i hear, haggis can't possibly be worse than head cheese

6:13 AM

 
Anonymous jimh said...

Haha! I think it was Mike Myers who said that most Scottish cuisine seems to have been based on a dare...

10:38 AM

 
Blogger The Innominate Blogger said...

I am soooo jealous...of the dogs in that picture.

But seriously, the Highlands sound great, and is there a better place to read a book about Moorish independance that takes place in New Orleans? I think not.

P.S.:Don't forget to bring some Belle & Sebastian.

3:28 PM

 
Anonymous elginroots said...

scotch is whiskey. scotch whiskey!

i am soooo jealous.

3:35 PM

 

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