ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Damn Straight


Have I told you how lucky I am?

After 12 hours of work & an hour of rehearsal today, one Miss Tron came home to a cleaned apartment. Some sweet little elf must have come in & known that I needed that.

What did I ever do to deserve this?

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Ghost in You


Hey duders & duderinas! Today's a good day. Today's the day that I've allocated to doing nothing. Yeah, doing nothing is weird. And yet, it's like 4 o'clock & the day's over. So doing nothing's been going well. Sitting on the couch in sweats, looking all nasty like is a lot easier than it sounds.
Life's been pretty busy with new work & pretending to be a dancer so I haven't had time to do anything interesting. And then I got sick, which didn't help my inner party animal whatsoever. But yesterday was an exception. Ethan & I said that we'd visit a party & there was no way out of it, even though after a bike ride & working for a few hours I was beat.
It was a Halloween party so we had to wear costumes. Hhhhmmmm....what to be? Ninja? Artemis? Ghost? NO!
Once 9 o'clock rolled around the costume was complete. Cheesy baseball cap? Check. Track suit? Check. Bandana? Check. Face paint? Check. Big clock necklace thing? Check.
Flava Flav. Offensive? Yes. Fun? Yes. Hungover? Hell yes.
Okay, I'm gonna go back to the couch now.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Mountain Tomb


Pour wine and dance if Manhood still have pride,
Bring roses if the rose be yet in bloom;
The cataract smokes upon the mountain side,
Our Father Rosicross is in his tomb.

Pull down the blinds, bring fiddle and clarionet
That there be no foot silent in the room
Nor mouth from kissing, nor from wine unwet;
Our Father Rosicross is in his tomb.

In vain, in vain; the cataract still cries
The everlasting taper lights the gloom;
All wisdom shut into his onyx eyes
Our Father Rosicross sleeps in his tomb.
-Yeats

Go to www.4bit.tv. Listen to their music. Look at their art. I miss them.

**my awesome 'linking' abilities were apparently short-lived since the 'here' didn't link to anything, sorry**

Friday, October 20, 2006

Back with More


Okay, so the other day I wrote a post about girls & their boyfriend obsession & such. Unfortunately that post got misinturpretted by a couple people. Namely Ethan. 'Um, Tron, is there something that you wanted to talk to me about? Are you mad at me?'. 'First of all, I don't get mad, I get angry. Secondly, no, why?' 'Your blog post was kinda mean.' Oops!

Regardless of whether it's important or not, I wanted to clarify some stuff & go into more detail. I'm not all love sucks or anything like that. Quite the opposite. I love love & falling in love & all that good stuff. In fact, I fall in love all the time. Everytime I see Georgie & Henry I fall in love a little bit more but I guess that's a different kind of love than what I'm attempting (poorly) to explain.

Lately I've noticed women blogging about how much they want a boyfriend. Someone to cuddle with. Someone to do things with. Someone to have dinner with. And yes, while it is nice going out to dinner with someone, it's not necessary. And contrary to popular belief, they do sell single movie tickets, ladies. Ain't no shame in being your own date to a movie. I realize that being alone can be difficult but really, it's not the end of the world.

A friend & I were talking today about gender roles. I'd brought up how I was reading someone who I'm not supposed to be reading's blog & how she was going on about how she wanted a man & her ideal man & all this shit. It's never a bad idea to write down important characteristics that you seek in a partner. Hell, I did that about 2 years ago when P & I broke up. And I actually dated someone who had all or almost all of those characteristics. I'm gonna call him Mr. Good-On-Paper. Well, Good-On-Paper's exactly what it was. I tried to be someone who I'm not & was nervous all the time & thought 'oh my goodness how could this great guy ever like me?' while neglecting that he, too, was human & had flaws that I completely chose to overlook. Needless to say, it didn't last long. He wanted a damsel in distress to some extent & I don't play that role very well & tend to get very bored very quickly sitting around, waiting for someone to save me. Honey, I realized that if you really wanna get saved you better do it yourself because buddha knows you're gonna need saving again & relying on other people all the time to save your ass not only gets exhausting but people get sick & tired of your bullshit.

Here's where I've noticed complications, though. Many women seem to think that they're either super-independent or completely helpless. Some women are completely independent. And we've all met the helpless ones. But about 99% lie somewhere in the middle. Biologically & psychologically, we're bred to care. We're mothers & sisters & daughters. We have hearts so big it's impossible to measure them. We want to give hugs, kiss off tears & make you feel warm inside. More importantly, many of us need to learn how to do this for ourselves before we can properly do this for others.

Being single isn't a bad thing. It can be liberating. And really, you don't have to comprimise like ever. That's the time when you get to explore (shout out to Liebo there), figure out what you could do without & what really, really matters to you. Eat whatever you like. Watch whatever movie you want to watch. Grow & find yourself & then realize that in a couple years you'll be completely different. If you need someone else to tell you what you should like/dislike do/not do & the like on at least one issue (your favorite color even) then really, you need to do that single thing even more. We're not tied down & completely dependant on men anymore. But they're sure nice to have around.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that simply I really don't feel like a man should complete you, rather complement you. And once he does, then that's right. But in the meantime, don't waste so much time wishing for something that you had. Instead, spend that time making yourself someone really special.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

O.....M......G.


My office-mate listens to Rush Limbaugh everyday between the hours of 11 & 2. I hadn't noticed what she was listening to before today. Now it's impossible to ignore.

The first day I worked here she told me that she's a brahmin. Well, this adds some serious doubt as to the poor lady having any luck of becoming a cow.

Note to self: pack extra set of headphones tonight.

Monday, October 16, 2006

???

Am I the only girl my age not boyfriend crazy? There are tons of girls all over the place who just want boyfriends & serious relationships & all that stuff. Not that I'm opposed to it, I guess it just feels a little bit more like if it's right then it's right. If not, then it's not supposed to happen at that time.

Now I feel a little guilty about having one. Like maybe I should let some really desperate girl have mine or something. Nah.

More on this later.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Little Earthquakes


What a fucked up day. Maybe if I go to bed & wake up it'll all be back to normal or something. I'd like that. Other than that my pirouettes were awesome tonight. I'd like to keep the turns. But it'd be much nicer to have everything back to normal than have awesome turns.

But it won't be that way so I've gotta be happy with the turns.

I've never been so happy to live the life that I live. It's just tough to hear friends going through such hardness.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Skinny Pant, Stupid Names for Clothing & Now THIS?!


Since it's National Breast Cancer Awareness Month many salons in the area are offering special-priced services such as Manicures, Pedicures, 'Cut & Blow' (hee hee!), facials, laser hair removal (uh...), waxing of your bits (seriously, that's what a brazilian wax is....ouch & gross) & massage. So Schmale & I are all about luxurious pampering because it's going towards a great cause & we're worth it (really, L'Oreal said so!).

My job....find us some massages for Sunday morning. How fun, right? Have some breakfast with my favoritest Schmale & get some relaxation time, too. Well, apparently no salons are open on Sundays. Whatwhatwhat? Saturdays are out because of rehearsal. All of the salons close at like 8 or 9, so that's out because of working late, classes or more rehearsal.

Really. Thus, I ask....

Why are these services only available to those who have free time on Wednesdays at 11 am?

Obviously, they're not working (unless they work the night shift but then they're probably at home sleeping). Don't they know that us working girls can't just be all 'well, I guess I'll go get a massage today after I watch the Price is Right & then be back to catch the last half of All My Children'? We work & work & work, which is why we need the tender loving touch of a trained massage therapist (they get pissed if you call them masseuse or masseurs now) to take away the strain built up from a long week, & scrape together enough money from the 'i didn't drink so much this week so i'll spend my money on this' pile or the 'i'm still a little drunk from last night at 10 a.m. so i'll spend a bunch of money because i don't care' emergency pile.

I need a sugar daddy.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Ethan just farted & it's funny

There is one very visable flaw with the new job....Nick & I no longer work together. This issue, thus far, has brought about only minor problems. However, I do foresee many a silly telephone call in the future between departments. But for now we have to settle for lunch.

Like most lunches, today included some really fun stuff. Like lengthy discussions about Spanish vocabulary & articles, food-sharing, man-oggling (apparently the attractive male population on campus has skyrocketed), 'relations' & incorrectly used vocabulary. Today's vocabulary word of the day was cahoots. Cahoots cahoots cahoots. Doesn't it sound like an angry or frazzled kind of word?

Who knew that it means 'questionable collaboration; secret partnership'?

Everyone but you.

Shut up.

Yeah, so I tried using it in sentences like 'well then, I am NOT in cahoots with bees' (wrong) & 'georgie & henry are in cahoots to not let me sleep at night' (correct). For a short time I felt smart. And that was uncomfortable so we switched it back to a more idiot-friendly conversation.....how big must a diamond ring be for you to marry the guy. I said 2 carats & at least $15k, since I was feeling all smart & like I should be a prize to win. Ha ha. Just kidding. I currently aspire towards cat lady status, no room for marriage in that plan.

This pointless post brought to you by a lack of battery power in my laptop because the storm fried my laptop charger so I can't continue on with the vacation story.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Hold the Bus


It's about that time again....time for some new clothes. You know, a couple pairs of pants, a cute work/after work dress, a few skirts, a sweater or two. Like most women I enjoy shopping, though have to admit that a plan is necessary, the shopping area must be outdoors & there's a time limit of 2 hours tops. Thus, the only logical method remains to look online, find some cute stuff, hit those stores, spend too much money & come home to buyer's remorse which can only be soothed by the creamy goodness of my boyfriends, Ben & Jerry.

Since my username's still not hooked up to the shared drive, work stops at the To Do List. Hhhhmmmmm.....great time to get a little monitor shopping done.

Other than the obvious....that the skinny pant should never, ever ever ever ever have been 'in' to begin with, nor should it be 'brought back' (I will punch the person who's idea this was in the face if I see them), since this is a crime against women...this season's not too bad. Kinda nice actually. Some fun stuff, some nice & simple stuff (I will do the same thing to whoever had the idea that the ruffled mini should ever ever ever be worn, especially with tights or leggings that I did to the skinny pants person...thank goodness my favorite places have given up on bringing the 80's back).

Anywhoodle, I felt very disturbed about one issue......and thus I present to you The Question of the Day:

Who the fuck names these articles of clothing?

The 'city trouser'? The 'equestrian pant'? The 'Dream Cardigan'? 'Matchstick pants'? 'Super 100s' (I'm not smoking these for goodness sake!!)?

Seriously. I understand the marketing perspective & that these names are supposed to describe the item or something but really, if it's a teal cashmere sweater, 'cerulean ubersoft upperbody-wrapping garment' is a bit excessive. To think that people actually get PAID to sit around all day & decide whether this sweater looks more Wellesley or Swarthmore.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Send Me An Angel


Hey duders & duderinas! How's it goin'? Are you ready for another installment of 'things to not really care about but you'll read them anyways?'. Awesome!

This week has been busy. Biiiizzzz-zeeeeeeeee. Well, let's start with last week & just say that I got the Rad Soundtrack in the mail (you already knew that) & so I've been listening to it ever since. On Monday night there was this humongous storm in Chicago & the Chicagoland area...which essentially consists of the northern half of Illinois & parts of southern Wisconsin (some include Indiana but I don't really wanna go there). Yep. It was so big that we thought that the branches outside of our apartment were going to fly through the windows. No joke. And then all of a sudden crack...we had no electricity. Uh oh. So we lit a bunch of candles & then Falcon Chris called to say that we should go outside & we did & it was like a monsoon out there & then around the side of the building a whole tree (one of those like 250 year old really big ones) had completely uprooted (railroad ties & all) & crashed into the building & someone who doesn't have a car anymore's car. But the supercrazy thing is how almost 2 years ago to the day I moved my car when I was living in the ghetto to drive out to Garfield Conservatory (very pretty place, btw) & when I got home there was that whole rigamarole about this dude who was shot in his car & drove down the alley & into a building & if I wouldn't have moved my car it would've been totalled. If the Bookmobile wouldn't have been moved to get groceries on Monday it would have been right under that tree. Crazy, huh?!?!?! So we were all kinda excited about our candlelight adventure until the next morning when the electricity STILL wasn't on & I had to take a freezing cold shower.

Livin' la vida Amish.

But Tuesday was my first day at my new job & boy oh boy, was THAT exciting, walking to work freezing cold still, hoping that I got all the suds outta my hair but really kinda didn't care because I knew that if I stayed in the shower any longer that I would die of hypothermia.

Fat girls can't DIE from hypothermia, idiot.

Uh, yeah they can, it just takes a lot longer.

So it's an awesome job but then again, it's only my 2nd day so don't take my word on it, k?

But the REAL news came last night after the electricity came back on. Really I don't know what I would have done having to go 2 nights in a row without crappy rerun sitcoms at 10 p.m. Go to Farrah's! But the power came back on, so it wasn't even a deal. So remember how I was all 'yeah, maybe I'll actually do a dancey part in The Nutcracker this year?' but felt like a tool & was like 2 seconds away from chickening out?

I'M WEARING A TUTU BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE BEST PART ABOUT IT IS THAT IT'S ONE OF THOSE BIG SKIRTED ONES SO I WON'T LOOK LIKE A TOTAL FATTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh huh, guess who's a flower? That's RIGHT! So I jumped around the apartment for a while & stuff & made up my acceptance speech for when I win the Awesomest Fat Ballerina Award.......I'd like to thank Georgie & Henry for their continued support throughout this tough time & understanding that mommy can't spend the usual 5 hours a day playing with & petting & loving you. Haha!

In other news, Georgie lit hit tail on fire this weekend on the stove. What a dumbass.