ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Send Me An Angel


Hey duders & duderinas! How's it goin'? Are you ready for another installment of 'things to not really care about but you'll read them anyways?'. Awesome!

This week has been busy. Biiiizzzz-zeeeeeeeee. Well, let's start with last week & just say that I got the Rad Soundtrack in the mail (you already knew that) & so I've been listening to it ever since. On Monday night there was this humongous storm in Chicago & the Chicagoland area...which essentially consists of the northern half of Illinois & parts of southern Wisconsin (some include Indiana but I don't really wanna go there). Yep. It was so big that we thought that the branches outside of our apartment were going to fly through the windows. No joke. And then all of a sudden crack...we had no electricity. Uh oh. So we lit a bunch of candles & then Falcon Chris called to say that we should go outside & we did & it was like a monsoon out there & then around the side of the building a whole tree (one of those like 250 year old really big ones) had completely uprooted (railroad ties & all) & crashed into the building & someone who doesn't have a car anymore's car. But the supercrazy thing is how almost 2 years ago to the day I moved my car when I was living in the ghetto to drive out to Garfield Conservatory (very pretty place, btw) & when I got home there was that whole rigamarole about this dude who was shot in his car & drove down the alley & into a building & if I wouldn't have moved my car it would've been totalled. If the Bookmobile wouldn't have been moved to get groceries on Monday it would have been right under that tree. Crazy, huh?!?!?! So we were all kinda excited about our candlelight adventure until the next morning when the electricity STILL wasn't on & I had to take a freezing cold shower.

Livin' la vida Amish.

But Tuesday was my first day at my new job & boy oh boy, was THAT exciting, walking to work freezing cold still, hoping that I got all the suds outta my hair but really kinda didn't care because I knew that if I stayed in the shower any longer that I would die of hypothermia.

Fat girls can't DIE from hypothermia, idiot.

Uh, yeah they can, it just takes a lot longer.

So it's an awesome job but then again, it's only my 2nd day so don't take my word on it, k?

But the REAL news came last night after the electricity came back on. Really I don't know what I would have done having to go 2 nights in a row without crappy rerun sitcoms at 10 p.m. Go to Farrah's! But the power came back on, so it wasn't even a deal. So remember how I was all 'yeah, maybe I'll actually do a dancey part in The Nutcracker this year?' but felt like a tool & was like 2 seconds away from chickening out?

I'M WEARING A TUTU BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE BEST PART ABOUT IT IS THAT IT'S ONE OF THOSE BIG SKIRTED ONES SO I WON'T LOOK LIKE A TOTAL FATTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh huh, guess who's a flower? That's RIGHT! So I jumped around the apartment for a while & stuff & made up my acceptance speech for when I win the Awesomest Fat Ballerina Award.......I'd like to thank Georgie & Henry for their continued support throughout this tough time & understanding that mommy can't spend the usual 5 hours a day playing with & petting & loving you. Haha!

In other news, Georgie lit hit tail on fire this weekend on the stove. What a dumbass.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Kyle I said...

AHHHHHH!.......why, why, why.....that picture in the post is not ok. Luckily I didn't have a spoon in my hand to gouge my eyes out.

6:31 PM

 
Anonymous elginroots said...

um, hello, you're super skinny.

do you work at the same place, just different job?

and yes, of course chicagoland stretches into indiana!!

10:04 PM

 
Anonymous mandy said...

YOU ARE NOT FAT

but stay away from pierogis or you will be!

11:08 AM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Kyle: sorry. thought it was kinda funny.

Jess & Mandy: I kid. But standing in a mirror in pink tights (most unflattering article of clothing...ever) & a leotard for a few hours/week shows ya all of your 'body flaws'. If I was really concerned about it I wouldn't eat like I do. Also, a Fat Ballerina is any ballerina over 105 lbs. Seriously.

p.s. Mandy: those pierogies on Saturday were AMAZING.

11:25 AM

 
Blogger Spo said...

As I read that it seemed as thought you were talking at me at speeds of up to 100mph - but I got it all

11:13 AM

 
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