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Friday, January 04, 2008

Operation Breakfast Sandwich

There's a food court where I work. Like in the building. A couple years ago the powers that be decided to move the department grant people to an annexed area. This area includes such conveniences as a hair cuttery (which I assume is a glammed up barber shop), a shoe store (they call it a boutique but I see orthopedic shoes in the displays), CVS (for patients to conveniently fill prescriptions) & a plethora of eateries. Unfortunately, Taco Bell is not among these & there remains an unfilled shop front so guess who's getting a suggestion letter. Anyways, there's a Subway, Dunkin Donuts, 'gourmet' coffee kiosk, questionable sushi bar, DQ/Orange Julius (!!!), soup specialist, Sami's Wrap & Roll, Sbarro (no food court would be complete without), cajun place I'm afraid of & everyone's favorite, McDonald's. Usually, this sight would seem appalling but working in an area where you know that people are not there for fun or as a happy place, well, they're there because either they or a loved one are very ill. Maybe getting a cheeseburger makes their day just a little less painful. Well, that & hello, Orange Julius!

One large Original & a cheesedog please.

Anyways, with this attempt to make it back to Hottsville, population me, breakfast is integral. Not eating breakfast does not do a body good & certainly adds to crankiness. Anything with eggs & cheese top my list, which may not be the healthiest but if calories cut from dinner & a portion of those go towards breakfast, then, well, what's wrong with that?

I went on a quest to find the best egg & cheese english muffin concoction.

3 of the aforementioned food selling establishments serve delectable treats.....there's the egg & cheese on an english muffin or bagel from Dunkin's, the breakfast sandwich with egg & cheese on a pita or english muffin from Sami's & the classic, Egg McMuffin from guess who. As to observe the scientific method, keeping everything as much the same except for one variable, I chose to get an egg & cheese breakfast sandwich (no meats) on a plain english muffin. The variable being which location said sammiches acquired. I even checked nutritional values & all were comparable within about 20 calories & a gram of fat.

Well, no better place to start than the tried & true, Egg McMuffin no meat (that last clause was difficult for some to understand). Mmmm.... just as I remembered it. Juicy not overcooked not undercooked (or shall I say microwaved) egg with a slice of american cheese resting on nooks & crannies of a soft muffin. This took me back to car trips of yore to Iowa. And what sweet memories those were.

Dunkin's was gross. Who could have thought that an egg & cheese could possibly taste icky? The muffin dry & needed 2 pieces of cheese. Even then, not hangover-worthy but instead generic & rubbery-egged. Bleck.

And finally, Sami's. Since this is the only non-chain I was a bit worried about the controls. Maybe this Sami fellow decided to throw a curve ball & butter his english muffin. That would certainly take him out of the running, seeing as butter is to me as kryptonite is to Superman. Well, butter & ice cream but ice cream wasn't a worry. Who's silly enough to put ice cream on an english muffin?! As I walked up, his menu board impressed me. Breakfast burritos in various forms, omelette sammiches, several kinds of breakfast meats, homefries! But the basics is what I needed. It was $1.90, good price. Sami's quite a personable guy with an accent I can't quite place but it could be deep Bahston (these people talk & walk crazy here!). Anyways, one bite in & a smile came to my face. It was good. Damn good. And there was one difference, Sami uses a white cheese rather than american.

Now the decision got tough & I spoke with coworkers about it endlessly (or for like 5 minutes that seemed really long because I was still new & just came off as really weird). Dunkin's: boo. Sami's: yay! But the real winner, when we're just going off of pure tastebud pleasure is good ol' McMuffins. I think it was the white cheese. Or maybe the childhood memories. Congratulations McDonald's, you have this & the treasured Crispy Ranch Snack Wrap. Goddamn you Snack Wrap.

But wait! Since Sami's has such a long & detailed menu I decided to sample some of their goods. And holy crap, I've found possibly the BEST breakfast sandwich of all!!! The baked cheese omelette on wheat toast. For a mere $0.40 more, it's a breakfast & lunch of pure, true deliciousness between 2 pieces of nutritious bread. Unfortunately, breakfast sammiches in any shape or form have proven to not help with the goal of Hottsville so it's back to Micronutrient juice & a yogurt. Hmph.

But if you're in the area, I'd suggest that you stop by & get one of these omelette on wheat toast concoctions. Maybe if you're there for a not happy reason it'll make your day a little bit better.

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Blogger iamnot said...

I pass a food court on the way to work every day too. It's called the extra fridge in the garage.
This morning I chose the suculent leftover pork loin from New Year's Eve.

9:06 AM

Anonymous jessica elgin said...

you should've had someone else buy them all and put them in plain paper bags so you wouldn't know which was from where. mickey d's might tasted better because it says mickey d's on it, no joke

10:17 AM

Blogger David said...

This post made me chuckle.

3:44 PM

Blogger Sun Follower said...

This post made me hungry!

1:41 AM

Anonymous Nick! said...

Wait wait wait wait wait...

Ice cream is your kryptonite? It's like I don't even KNOW YOU!

8:54 PM


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