ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Return of the Magical Cove Man

I checked my watch again. 9:45. Where was he? Did something happen? Why wasn't he here? Excited to hear what lies ahead yet afraid the news bad, I played another round of Silver Strike and grabbed a pitcher. Before I knew it, I could feel his presence. He stood behind us. Probably made his way in silently, as to not disturb our intense game of rolly-ball video game bowling.

After the thick fog of fierce competition lifted, he greeted us. And the thick fog of drunkenness soon arrived after a shot of Jameson.

This time around, The Magical Cove Man prophecized a wedding. I looked up and said, 'me? will i be the one to marry?'

'No. You ain't the marryin' kind.' I hung my head in sorrow & dragged my feet toward my pint.

"Ha ha! I'm just kiddin' whitchu, baby! You and your boy, you gonna be happy & married. As long as I get to go to the wedding'.

'Oh of course!' I gleefully yelped & ordered another round of completely unnecessary shots. But the bartender wouldn't sell me anymore. Something about 'enibriated'.

If you hadn't guessed, we made an appearence at the Cove this weekend. It was awesome. We played Silver Strike. And got 'initiated', which really, wasn't a good thing. Not really an official initiation. Probably more like How Much Can These Little White Kids Drink Before the Boy Pukes in the Urinal Again. Regardless, we had a great time. And no one puked in the urinal!

But the Magical Man was wrong. No weddings appear in the near future & my faith in him now is now shattered like a broken mirror. What he didn't know is that I was trying to trick him. To see if he'd foul up. And he did. Silly guy, I'm not getting married! So I guess he's not really magical.

Oh well.

You know what IS really magical, though? Jaimers will be in Chicago in ONE WEEK! For 10 days only. Turns out she's gonna move back to Scotland. Which is a really good reason to visit, huh? Mmmmm......Scotch.

But she will be here for Family Feud Night. And Schmale's gonna hopefully join us, too! Which means that my 2 best friends in the whole world & I are gonna play The Feud together. And Nick's gonna be there. And Farrah's gonna be there. And Sarah's gonna be there. It's gonna be, like, the best night ever.

I'm so happy I could jump up & down in circles & clap my hands & laugh.

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

All Tagged Up & Weirded Out


Hiya! I got tagged by Sunfollower who got tagged by Boobs who got tagged by Seahag. And usually, I'd be all 'whatever, why do I need to tell people what color underpants I'm wearing today, tags & surveys are lame' but this one's pretty fun & easy. Sooooooooo.......

The Rules : Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own re: 6 weird things, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 or so people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

**And no, I'm not going to claim my middle name as one.....that's too obvious plus, this blog would then self-destruct.

1. Ever since I was a little kid (about 5 or 6), when I can't find something I sing a little song to help out.....the word 'where' repeated to the tune of 'row row row your boat'. Notice the present tense.

2. I have mouse brown hair, blue eyes & am 5'3". Both of my parents are blonde, above average height & neither have blue eyes. I am the poster child for recessive genes.

3. I wrote a book when I was 6. It's called 'Ghandi & the Case of the Missing Shoe'. One copy lives in the Brigham Young Elementary School library in Bloomington, IL & the other lives in one of my mom's closets (I'm convinced she's keeping it just in case I really don't amount to anything, at least we could say that I wrote a book).

4. Very little 'gross' stuff grosses me out (like blood or puke or farts or poop or wounds or puss or hairs in food or sweaty armpites or food sitting out for a few hours before it's eaten or anything) but if an animal with an 'eye booger' comes near me or, god-forbid, wipes that thing on me I completely freak out & start gagging.

5. That scene in Kindergarten Cop when the Governator falls asleep at his desk & dreams that the bad guy is wheeled in front of a window with a gun scares the shit out of me & I hide my eyes anytime it comes on television. No, I don't LIKE the movie but being a hungover undergrad can show you some new lows in what you're willing to watch at 2 p.m. on Saturday.

6. I like dudes with a wee bit of pudge. I think that ripped dudes are disgusting & a little belly is much more comfortable to lay my head on than ribs or 6 pack abs. And you can give raspberries without the fear of having your head squished.

Okay, so I tag Jessica, Eddie, Kyle, Nick, Kermit & Marisa

***picture courtesy of westwash**