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Friday, October 26, 2007

Frating


Moving to a city where you haven't lived before is exciting. You get the chance to view ordinary, everyday life as an adventure. In my 28 years I've lived in 23 different homes, in 10 different 'cities'. I am counting college moves within the same city for any place that a lease was involved. I'm also couting moves that I do not have recollection of, as I'd not developed long-term memory at that point. The latter account for only 3.

9 moves took place during early childhood (pre-year 7). As a kid I loved moving. It was so much fun to run around the new house, find interesting hiding spots & goof off with my brother, both torturing each other with knowledge that the other didn't know about the place & discovering new things together.

But now I'm a grownup (questionable) & in turn am carrying my own boxes up & down flights of stairs, finding places to live & setting up shop so to speak.

As an adult, going somewhere new gives you a good look out on life & a fresh start. The buildings are new & pretty. The seasons exciting because you don't know what to expect at a certain point. The art museums filled with new works not previously looked at with a cocked head & a virgin eye. Jobs are great because it hasn't become tedious & commutes are fun because you haven't seen it 5 times a week for years.

But then there are downsides. How is the quickest way to get to work? Despite the rosy glasses, there remains a lot of value in cutting a commute in half. Where can you find a good burrito? Trial and error can land you with some serious GI problems. The answer is through friends. Confidants who help to point you in the right direction & steer you away from the places that may or may not be up to health code standards. (it may look clean but that doesn't always mean anything). I've very much enjoyed actually (finally) having some 'alone time' upon moving here. Walking home from work helps to clear my mind & put a distance between me & work (although an 8 minute walking commute is great, it's very easy to slip into the always-working frame of mind...see: last year, ALWAYS working). But let's face it, we're social creatures. There comes a point when talking on the phone to friends 'back home' doesn't cut it. You need physical communication as well. But where to find friends?

Mommy & Daddy aren't putting me into play groups or signing me up for swimming team anymore, which is generally where I met my friends during formative years. And no intermural sports, random parties and classes from college. Walking down the street asking someone to be your friend will most certainly get you nothing but strange looks & people who you probably don't want to be your friends.

Work could pan out to new positive relations but three obvious issues come up when that's a dependence. First, the people who you work with could be complete turds. Second, there's a certain line that sometimes you just don't want to cross around work folk until you have time & first-hand experience as to who these people are & how they operate. Third, if your only friends are from work, then you're surrounded by work all the time. It can work out (Doba heeeeeyyyyyy!!!) but can also backfire.

In comes frating. Friend dating.

I'm currently in the position that an abundance of alone time has gotten boring (remember the post about how I was talking to the grocery store bagger? yeah, it got worse). So I've started frating. What are your interests? Like the same kind of music? Enjoy spending free time in the same ways? Drink? Don't drink? Talk about books? Talk about WWF? Watch teevee? Church? Only want to hang out with your husband? Can't talk about anything but your kids & how amazingly more perfect than anything else or anyone else's kids? It all sounds so superficial but really, that's kind of how it goes.

We've reached a point in our lives where we're pairing off to some extent: the marrieds, the singles, the childless, the yuppies, the permastudents, and the list goes on. Not to say that we can't all be friends, but birds of a feather flock together. It's the truth. Also, since work consumes 1/3 of our lives & sleeping consumes 1/3, there may seem like a lot of time left but there isn't.

So far, I think I've done pretty well. One Miss Raniah, who Queen Q introduced me to (thanks ppppttthhhhhead!). And one Miss Taylor. I'd like to chalk it up to how awesome I am at chosing people to talk to but luck had a lot to do with it.

Also, from years of dating, and finally not just giving anyone a chance (he's not an asshole all the time.....bullshit), I've changed from an attitute of saying 'eh, I'll tolerate it' to 'I really like this about this person'.

Raniah teaches me about makeup (the only kind I really know about is the stage variety...hello pancake!) & loves ice cream (score!) & is just one of the sweetest girls. She also contributes cultural lessons & doesn't laugh at my stupid questions. Her husband is hilarious & gets along great with Ethan so couple dinners are just a hoot & most of the time spent laughing.

Taylor is an absolute gem. Through a stroke of luck we started talking & comiserating about a work situation. Yes, we're friends from work but don't work in the same office. She's bright & very well-read so we can talk about books & nerdy stuff. She's one of the funniest people I think I've ever met. She's showed me some of the most beautiful parts of Boston & we 'walk for fitness' home & talk for hours. Plus, she clued me in to GOOD PIZZA (finally!!!) & a CUPCAKE SHOP (yay lulu's!!!!) & threw the best Halloween party I've been to in years.

And both are fantastic workout buddies, which motivates my fatass to go to the gym. And the icing on the cupcake is that they get along great. I've struck frating gold!!!

Let's hope that this Boston luck keeps up. I keep thinking that the other shoe will drop. But I guess that's a trained response.

8 Comments:

Blogger Sun Follower said...

Cupcakes are the first clue that this person is all right! :)

10:42 AM

 
Anonymous jessica said...

glad to hear you're meeting people! i can always e-mail you my friends' info too. they're really cool and lived in boston before coming to chicago so they know all the cool spots.

6:26 PM

 
Blogger modelbehavior said...

heh - frating - i like that

11:37 PM

 
Blogger Scary Monster said...

Anyone who knows where to find good pizza in Boston is an indespensible bud.

STOMP.

6:27 AM

 
Blogger Ranch foreman George McJunkin said...

I initinally read that as a flat a, and I was like, "Oh no, she's had to start haning out at a frat? And one with black lights!"

7:52 AM

 
Blogger nk said...

Next time you get bored, take pictures of the cats, why don'cha?

11:34 AM

 
Blogger Bruno said...

Hey, thanks for leaving that comment on k city. Because that brought me here, and bringing me here made me notice I like your writing style, and if that wasn't enough of a reason for a comment, the fact that i plan to steal "frating" for the comic strip is.

(i'll find a way to credit you, don't worry)

11:19 AM

 
Blogger Texas Cinderella said...

Glad you're settling into Boston life...and meeting new friends! It will become like a snowball effect with their friends becoming your friends and you become one big happy family! :)

2:26 PM

 

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