ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Feed People & Test Your Vocabulary

This is a pretty neat way to spend some downtime.

You should go there.

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Boom. Boom.

I found this on 4bit. Thanks Max!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

And Then the Christmas Lights Shown Bright

I had a trying day at work with all of the changes. Followed up by a less than satisfying Hip Hop class. I just can't stand the bitchy girls who shove their way to the front...newsflash, I'm dancing just as well you are, dearies & I'm new so step off & give me some fucking room or I will whack you in the head while I'm dancing & will not feel bad in the least. Also, note to the teachers: not all turns are pirouettes so let's call a spade a spade, what you are asking me to do is a spin-on-your-foot.

But I got home last night to find one of my favorite pieces of literature. That gem that once a year shows up at my door, shiny, pretty, full of objects that I only dream of owning & then remember that there are so many better ways to spend money such as feeding people who don't have money to eat, funding research, education, etc. But still this baby remains the root of so many fantasies. (who could turn down the his & hers photo booths from 2 years ago?) Cutting to the chase, yes, I got my Christmas Book today. And it couldn't have come at a better time.


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The Word of the Day

1. Informal. anything done easily.
2. Informal. an easily defeated person or team.
3. Informal. a person who is easily persuaded, influenced, or seduced.
4. Rocketry. a displacement in a horizontal direction of the trajectory of a missile or rocket.
5. Aeronautics. push-down.

This particular personality trait of mine has become somewhat irritating as of late. And I've become a bit frustrated that people assume that I'll continue to go with the flow despite having a different opinion. No, I'm not going to go all postal or anything. And usually, I demostrate my irritation a wee on the passive-aggressive side. But I'm really trying to be upfront and honest. Why do people keep telling me that I 'don't really feel that way'? Because, you know what? I do.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I'm all lost in the Supermarket. I can no longer shop happily.

The last couple weeks have been really busy. Biz-zee. Switching insurance, getting a doctor, flying home for 48 hours to get Farrah drank off my hamps, submitting a dozen grants, desperately trying to get back to Hottsville, population me, via step & dance classes, hormonal & all the time acting the cheery, chipper tron we all know & some of us love. So I've begun to feel a wee bit like how I did in Chicago, overwhelmed.

Last Tuesday I got home at 6:30 after a stressful day to enter into more stress at home. Fight. Big fight. So off to Step I went, all 'whatever, don't act like a douchbag, etro' in an attempt to step away my frustration. Step didn't help too much & I was still very upset.

Grocery stores are NOT good places to go if you're feeling a little emotionally unstable.

And then all of the stress that's been building up for the last 6 months came crashing down. Hard. Gramma dying. Dad having cancer. The abuse I endured during my last job. Moving. Finding a new home. Finding a new job. Finding new friends. Paying bills. Replacing furniture. All of it. Boom. Right there at the Shaw's.

I walked into the store & saw all of this Thanksgiving stuff & immediately felt the pang that I won't be home to tell my dad how happy & thankful I am that he's healthy in person this year.

Bananas. Need bananas. Got bananas. Check.

Tears were welling up in my eyes. Play it off as post-workout salty eyes.

Healthy frozen lunches. Got em.

Granola bars. Uh, I thought they were here. The aisle signs should mention them, right? But they don't. I've bought granola bars at least a half dozen times already at this Shaw's. They should be right, no, they're not. Where are they?

What is this? Christmas aisle? Halloween's not until tomorrow. Wow, this is going to be the first Christmas without Gramma there since Mom & Orv got married. She was such a sweet lady & told such great stories. Oh god, it's getting worse. I've got to get out of here before I start blubbering & have to sit down & they call security & I end up in some mental looney bin because I was crying in aisle 5.

Where in the fuck are the granola bars? Did a tear just let loose? Bite your lips. Bite your lips. Oh, there are the overpriced organic or something ones. But which ones does Ethan want? Fuck it. I'll just get one of each. Except for ones with raisins because raisins are gross.

So I made it up to the checkout with 8 different kinds of expensive granola bars and at that point just didn't even care anymore. Somehow I choked out that I needed a roll of quarters & made it to my car without completely losing my shit.

I told Taylor the story the next day & both of us laughed so hard our tummies hurt & thus a new explanation of a situational feeling has been born. The Where the Fuck are the Granola Bars times. And so I have officially had my first breakdown in Boston & feel much better now.