ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

All Things Considered

Today's better than yesterday, which was better than Friday. This weekend doesn't count because a.) it's a weekend & b.) it was a weekend filled with some pretty bad thoughts. Stupid stuff that you get like 3 weeks after breaking up. Which even though right now haunt me a little & it sucks, maybe that means I've moved on to Stage 2 or whatever.

After Pete & I broke up, I slept on the couch for a week straight without even touching my bed. And then slowly it took about a month to get to the point that I could fall asleep in bed without first on the couch without the help of Advil PM or other heavy sedation (Alex, what is a television?). It's 2 days into Week 3 from the break up with Ethan & I'm still falling asleep on the couch most nights but making it into my bed by about 1 a.m., which is an improvement from last week, which was more like 4 a.m.-5 a.m. Tonight's plan was to get home from my second Public Health test, that I've convinced myself that I failed so that if I really did fail I won't feel so bad since last time I thought I did pretty well & got a terrible grade, & study more for the GRE. That's not happening. It's like 90 degrees here & my brain has turned into mush.

It's like freaking August in Boston right now & everything's sticky so I'd really rather just sleep standing up like a cow (which is kind of what I feel like right now from heat bloat) or maybe I'll run a supercold bath & try to fall asleep in there.

Prune City!

Tomorrow's the Scooperbowl. Technically, it's today, tomorrow & Thursday but hopefully I'll get there tomorrow. Have you heard about this?

Heaven!

So for tonight, I'm going to rest my brain-dead little head IN MY BED. Tomorrow's tutoring. Thursday's a practice test. Friday's a practice test. And then Saturday's the real life GRE. Which at this point, scares the shit out of me but figure that if I totally eff that up then I can take it again. No use not trying, eh?

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2 Comments:

Blogger iamnot said...

So glad I'm a man....
If I were 2 days into the 1st week of a break-up, I'd be looking to get laid.
I know it's shallow and I'll go to hell for it, but it beats ice cream by the half-gallon and hating life.
The gym is another great place to go after a break up. The physical excertion, while not as good as sex, certainly helps.

Ok...seriously. I lived through more break ups with lonely bottles of wine than with "chicks" or the gym. None of it fixes anything. The best you can do is find healthy distractions till life feels semi-normal again.
Get back in to your own bed. It is YOUR bed.

9:27 AM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

That is an amazing picture.

3:10 PM

 

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