ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Rainy Day Toss Up


Well, it's rainy here today. And rain pretty much only motivates me to eat some sort of cheese-based meal (grilled cheese, mac & cheese, cheese fries) and do one of two things depending on the heaviness of the rain...

A.) Couch, blanket & movies

or

B.) Visit a museum

So I'm supposed to go dancey pantsing tonight but am feeling WAY more motivated to instead walk around the MFA (am a member so it's free). But since I'm flat broke (no, literally flat broke) until tomorrow I can't buy myself a nice cheese dinner there but might be able to squeeze enough quarters together to get a chili cheese dog on the way home. Anyways, what would ultimately be the best is if George Clooney were at the museum at the same time & was like 'look at that short, fat ballerina....I MUST make her my ONE!' and bought me a fancy dinner & walked with me, hand in hand, though the MFA & we could comment on the art stuff & he would tell me about how astute my observations are, which they're not, but he'd think so just because you know, he instantly fell madly in love with me. Then he'd walk me home in the rain because we're both so concerned about Carbon emissions. But then I'd have to tell him the truth.

I think I might be engaged.

A few years back I wrote this post. Notice how I wanted a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN instead of a ring? Well, a while later I DID get a chocolate fountain for Christmas from someone I was dating at the time. Did he read my blog & give that to me as a proposal to marry him? Because thinking back, I don't know that accepting a kitchen appliance in lieu of a pretty ring was such a bright statement to make. Also, does this mean that I have to give the chocolate fountain back? We never 'officially' broke up so do I have to call & make this more concrete? Oh god. What if he already IS married & when I stop up at his doorstep I then realize that all this time I DID have feelings for him & then it erupts into this whole thing & it comes out that he just only sorta had feelings for his wife but has been pining for me this whole time & so he quickly packs his bags & leaves his wife to move up to the Green Mountains with me so that we can have a small farm & run a Bed & Breakfast but then I'd have a breakdown because I'd be a homewrecker but he would be strong for me through it. And then 18 months later, after the magic wore off I'd have to question my decision to be with this dude because really, if we would have loved each other for real wouldn't we have made it work the first time? But then isn't fate involved with the whole chocolate fountain thing?

More importantly......ballet or museum?

9 Comments:

Anonymous The Internets said...

You almost made the Internets jealous with that one.
Fortunately, George makes the Internets look young by comparison...ok, and maybe a bit un-glamorous...but still.

Museum

I like to walk through museums and do my best Cliff Claven and wait for someone to notice I'm full of poop.

I'm a member too...so it's free...if you don't count that annual bill thing.

4:05 PM

 
Blogger Marion said...

Hello,

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If you are, we can send you a free sample of the product which we would like you to review, and it is free of any shipping charges.

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12:01 AM

 
Blogger iamnot said...

Ok,
That spam bot is too funny.
I HAVE a pair of those glasses!
Pinhole is a photography thing so I bought them for the fun of it.

9:21 AM

 
Blogger BSH ADMIN said...

In all likelihood, while you're up in the Green Mountains worrying about homewrecking, his ex-wife, in the midst of a post-breakup montage about getting her life back together will meet George Clooney, fall madly in love, get married and adopt 15 multi-cultural babies. All to say: you might want to rethink your strategy.

10:26 AM

 
Blogger emertron said...

Good Call BSH. I'll take Clooney.

11:05 AM

 
Blogger screetus said...

I can tell you from personal experience, after the first few times Clooney does that with you, it just sort of loses its lustre.

6:39 PM

 
Blogger elizabeth said...

So, which did you choose? suspense in blog land....

It is discrimination. I have not read the monster within, but I should find it and read it. I am always up for any ed recovery book. And I assure you that I am eating very much enough these days. Most everything is after-effects from years of not. Things can get a little wonky now and again but for the last year i've been much more solid in my recovering. Thank you for comment...

2:59 PM

 
Blogger Sun Follower said...

Clooney and a chocolate fountain? Can't get better than that.

Museum?

2:02 AM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

I'd go for "unadulterated binge drinking", but it wasn't listed as an option.

6:51 PM

 

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