ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

28 is Gggggreat!

Dear Little Brother.
Twenty-eight years ago you
Came into my life.

Can't wait to see you.

Miss Emma


Thursday, March 19, 2009

Family Chemistry

Sibling bond>hydrogen bond...any day of the week.

I miss my brother.



Uh, well, you know how I was all about paying off my credit card bills or something? But also was thinking about what I was going to treat myself with for my 30th Birthday?

Time to start looking at how much flights are to Barcelona & getting back in touch with some old pals who might still live there. Biggest problem, though, is that I'd actually like to not go over there alone this time. It'd be nice to share Spain with a friend.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Gently Saying NO

Sittin' outside in the suuuuun. Waitin' for ships to cooooome. Chattin' on facebook with someoooooone. Until all of this stuff is dooooone.

Guess what.

Papers don't write themselves. This is something that I relearned today while avoiding writing a paper, which I will inevitably write tomorrow night at like 11 after ballet. It sucks, but so does working & going to school at the same time.

I guess that's the price I pay.

Anyways, something good did come out of floundering around, hoping that something would pop into my head. The awesomeness of of my roommate's & my relationship was reinforced. Which is pretty fantastic. Did you know that sometimes people have the same feelings as you even if you think that those feelings are totally ridiculous or slackery? Well, they do. Even if they've gotten their MDs. All you have to do is say it!

True story!

Know what else? I have somehow become a relationship guru of sorts. Well, I guess that's a little overstating. Or maybe I'm just so sick & tired of bee ess that not only am I not putting up with it anymore but that others who come for advice are getting the straight answer. No more sugar coating. No more "oh, well, maybe next time s/he'll think of that". No way.

Good job world, you've turned me into a bitch.

Nah, not totally, maybe I've just become the living equivalent of "he's just not that into you" or something. Which was a really stupid book but the concept is spot on. Because really, some dude doesn't buy me flowers, he's out. And yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that how's he supposed to know or you're being too picky or maybe next time. But he should know because if I have expressed & shown a love of fresh flowers he should think about what I'd like, not getting what I want is settling & that's no good & next time, well, chances are there won't be one at this point. There is little free time in my life (that's a lie...I have time, I just choose to walk around Boston aimlessly bippity bopping in & out of coffee shops & fun wine bars) & I don't want to spend it with some nitwit who can't even run into Kabloom & pick me up a bunch of tulips on his way to see me.

Wheels on fire!

No, really, the whole dating thing came up again because Doba is moving because he didn't find a job in Boston. 2 weeks from now The Dobas will again be separated & that makes me incredibly upset (I may or may not have cried on the drive home from his apartment last night). It also will leave a sizable amount of time each week with which I have no idea what to fill with.

How about writing your papers early, dumbass?

Continuando, I made a comment to stepmumzie that maybe I would try dating again. I was joking. Honestly, I am sick of "putting myself out there" or whatever. I don't want to put on a show. I have a huge rack. That's show enough.


Yeah, okay, so maybe it's a little shallow but whatever (p.s. the brain beats the rack any day of the week). I guess I'm just sick of making excuses & have given advice lately that's been quite good but equally as harsh but has worked marvelously really, is there any other way to be at this point?


Now that I've sufficiently avoided academic writing for a half hour, I guess I should probably go back to it. Boo.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

3 (make that 4) Quick Things

1. Not fungal & don't worry, I asked about everything. It's currently cleared up (which was expected after less than 48 hours).

2. Allergist appointment in MAY. Yes, MAY is the earliest I can get in. Hopefully no outbreaks. But in case, I have Benadryl & my EpiPen on me (which I would anyways once spring comes around).

3. Quote of today: "Damnit, how am I supposed to start my day when I don't have any floss left?" (never thought I'd say that or that I'd go through a 100 ft roll of dental floss.

4. Quote of yesterday during a conversation with 25YO in which he was pissing me off so I called him on it....Him: great, so you just called me fake & inconsiderate. have a lovely day.....Me: you forgot immature. Yes, I went there and it felt good.

Time to break up a cat fight & get 6 (hopefully!) hours of sleep.....long day, long ANTM, early morning tomorrow with a lot of work, ballet & studying.


Thursday, March 05, 2009

Please Lift Up Your Gown

So I kinda briefly touched on how I had this really bad reaction to something.



No new detergents, lotions, soaps, clothes, dudes.

Wait wait wait. DUDES?! Do they KNOW YOU?

No. But they still asked.

That's because they don't know you & if they did, they wouldn't ask that question.

Yes they would.

No, they wouldn't.

Yes they have to ask it. SO THERE.

So there I was. At the second of a three doctor appointments in an attempt to figure out why my abdominal skin attempted to get off of my body. Yeah, that's what it looked my skin was like "yeah, I am OUTTA here". And you know, in dermatology they hand you a flimsy robe & tell you to get nekkid (these guys let me keep my underpants & bra on which was nice of them). And so last year when I had that thing on my forehead & had Dr. Fein (pronounced like FINE....who happened to be DREAMY), well, it kind of tainted me so now I'm a little paranoid that I'm just going to have hot doctors from here on out checking out my bodily conditions. And not the good ones like how I have awesome cholesterol or like a doctor to see that I actually can still fit into my cheerleading skirt from junior high or like a doctor to play a fantastic, fun game of tennis with in my cute little tennis skirt.

No, I have to go in for conditions like what I thought was RINGWORM ON MY FOREHEAD (Dr. Fine who also said to me "no, I don't think it's Herpes"....seriously totes morts) or my latest, nastiest-so-far rash. So I'm pretty much nude & of course in comes a really cute dude doctor. And I thought "okay, this is it.....I'm just done now....throwing in the towel but at least I wore cute undies today". Anyways, he was like "so it says here that you're in for a check up & a rash & a mole that you'd like looked at".

So he starts checking me out (and not in the way that I WANT to be checked out) and I'm thinking (again) "I really should go to more ballet classes & the gym....must.hit.the.gym". And then I have to pull my boob out of my bra. (enter the red creeping up my neck) Thank goodness I stopped myself from saying something to the affect of "yeah, usually you have to buy me dinner to see that" or whatever, which was at the tip of my tongue.....literally right there & somehow judgment or wisdom or something stopped me.

Please lift up your gown to your waist.

So I did. And then he asked about the mole and I'll leave out details, but it's not in a place that anyone but me sees & I'm wishing at this point that I would have just conveniently left that part out. So I have to, uh, readjust my panty-line for him to see my bikini-line & he pretty much sticks his head in my crotch & says "looks fine".

Me: "but, um, I'm concerned of its placement"

Him: "eh, if it changes then you should worry & have it removed....I'll bring in the the way you have very few moles & they all look fine"

So the attending comes in with a cute 3rd year med student. She checks me out like she's giving a lecture & then asks me to lie down to check out the mole. Okay, I've been through this, right? Like 5 minutes ago. No big deal. So I move my underpants over a little bit to show her & what is now a petrified looking med student.

Her: "yep, that looks fine....see" pointing to the mole about 1/8 of an inch away from my cute, pink panties

Me: breeeeeaaaaaathe

Her: WHIPS OUT A MAGNIFYING GLASS THING "but let's take a closer look"

Me: if I pass out then at least there'll be no memory of this

Her: "yep, that looks fine but why don't you take a look" and hands the magnifying contraption over to the clearly terrified med student

And after about 3 seconds muttered "yep yep, looks fine" and quickly hands back said contraption.

They all leave. I have a clean bill of dermatologic health & should visit on an "as needed" basis since I don't get sun burnt & have like 7 moles on my body. So I quickly get dressed & skip on out of there as quickly as possible, thinking that maybe that attending was doing that just for shits & giggles. You know, to be like "I'm gonna one-up the embarrassment level here".

The good news: it is not contact dermatitis & I have awesome skin.

The bad news: next comes the allergist.

The resolution: there is none right now other than having 3 faces in my crotch yesterday without the promise of dinner or getting laid & since it looks like I'm allergic to a food, I'm sticking to the tried & true.....apples cheese, micronutrient juice & ice cream as food staples.

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