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Sunday, March 15, 2009

Gently Saying NO

Sittin' outside in the suuuuun. Waitin' for ships to cooooome. Chattin' on facebook with someoooooone. Until all of this stuff is dooooone.

Guess what.

Papers don't write themselves. This is something that I relearned today while avoiding writing a paper, which I will inevitably write tomorrow night at like 11 after ballet. It sucks, but so does working & going to school at the same time.

I guess that's the price I pay.

Anyways, something good did come out of floundering around, hoping that something would pop into my head. The awesomeness of of my roommate's & my relationship was reinforced. Which is pretty fantastic. Did you know that sometimes people have the same feelings as you even if you think that those feelings are totally ridiculous or slackery? Well, they do. Even if they've gotten their MDs. All you have to do is say it!

True story!

Know what else? I have somehow become a relationship guru of sorts. Well, I guess that's a little overstating. Or maybe I'm just so sick & tired of bee ess that not only am I not putting up with it anymore but that others who come for advice are getting the straight answer. No more sugar coating. No more "oh, well, maybe next time s/he'll think of that". No way.

Good job world, you've turned me into a bitch.

Nah, not totally, maybe I've just become the living equivalent of "he's just not that into you" or something. Which was a really stupid book but the concept is spot on. Because really, some dude doesn't buy me flowers, he's out. And yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that how's he supposed to know or you're being too picky or maybe next time. But he should know because if I have expressed & shown a love of fresh flowers he should think about what I'd like, not getting what I want is settling & that's no good & next time, well, chances are there won't be one at this point. There is little free time in my life (that's a lie...I have time, I just choose to walk around Boston aimlessly bippity bopping in & out of coffee shops & fun wine bars) & I don't want to spend it with some nitwit who can't even run into Kabloom & pick me up a bunch of tulips on his way to see me.

Wheels on fire!

No, really, the whole dating thing came up again because Doba is moving because he didn't find a job in Boston. 2 weeks from now The Dobas will again be separated & that makes me incredibly upset (I may or may not have cried on the drive home from his apartment last night). It also will leave a sizable amount of time each week with which I have no idea what to fill with.

How about writing your papers early, dumbass?

Continuando, I made a comment to stepmumzie that maybe I would try dating again. I was joking. Honestly, I am sick of "putting myself out there" or whatever. I don't want to put on a show. I have a huge rack. That's show enough.


Yeah, okay, so maybe it's a little shallow but whatever (p.s. the brain beats the rack any day of the week). I guess I'm just sick of making excuses & have given advice lately that's been quite good but equally as harsh but has worked marvelously really, is there any other way to be at this point?


Now that I've sufficiently avoided academic writing for a half hour, I guess I should probably go back to it. Boo.



Blogger elizabeth said...

sweet! God I hope you never turn into greg berhedt (that's his name, right?) every time I see him in one of his denim vests I want to shoot myself in the face.
But seriously way to not fill people's ears with shit. After a while it's just too sad to keep empathising/rationalizing with terrible relationships.
and with an awesome rack/great brain you really shouldn't have to lift a finger to find a good man. seriously.

9:03 PM


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