ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

If your guess is Dad, then your guess is correct!

Yep. Got final word today that Dad's flying in on Friday for a weekend of whatever we feel like doing. Unfortunately, there isn't a Red Sox game but I'm going to feel around for Celtics tickets & see if by some act of god there are tickets for sale. Chances are slim to nill but eh, who knows if you don't try.

After an incredibly stressful last couple weeks at work, crying at my desk, having a puss on & pretty much being the most irritable person I can be, this lightened my mood times 100.

So the rest of the week includes Sweatpants Party (tomorrow), a fancy dinner with patients at the MFA on Thursday with a private, guided viewing of the current exhibit, studying whenever I can (but don't feel incredibly stressed since even if I show up to the final I get a B) & frolicing through what will hopefully be a lovely-weathered Boston.

Then next week is the Final, another possible trip to the MFA, Ballet Ruses (another hopeful!) & on Friday morning I pick Mommy up from the airport for a nice, long weekend of relaxing, eating entirely too much & again, skipping around this lovely little city!

How did a girl ever get so lucky?

And on a more serious note, how did I let myself get so monotonous & depressed lately? I could go into logistics, blame work or being busy or winter. But then I realized that I haven't looked forward to something in a while. Like 6 months a while. Yes, I was really excited to visit NYC for Thanksgiving but that proved to be an incredibly emotional & raw trip. Issues were brought out into the open that had festered for quite some time.

Hey Asshole! Deal with me!!! And so I did. I hope.

Anyways, a funny thing happened on the way to the opera(ballet) last week. I left work to meet up with Joe & pals. On my walk to work, the little wrappy skirt I was wearing kept almost flying open because of heavy winds. Annoying. So walking to the train that evening I was careful to walk awkwardly with one arm on the skirt flap. When I noticed it was riding up a little. So I shifted my bag & it was better but then the bag would fall back & I just kind of gave up, tugging on the front of the skirt, which was completely down. Upon crossing the traintracks I went to yank the sides only to find that the sides had ridden completely up, as well as the bum part.

Shakin' that ass.

No joke, I flashed the D line. Luckily, the tights I was wearing are heavy-duty Lohan pants type tights (you know, the tights that LiLo wears with a shirt & thinks are pants) so nothing was seen. Except for a beet-red face. And after laughing at myself outloud & turning to wait for the train some guy who was behind me passed me & gave me a smile & a wink. OMG! This douchematron didn't even stop to tell me that my tighted ass was exposed to people but instead took the peep show & smiled at me about it.

But at least that day is over & the next like 2 weeks are pretty much promised to be the awesomest ever with BOTH of my parents coming in for visits & hugs & walking through gardens.

On that note, I need to clean out my car.

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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Keep Your Eyes Ahead

The big one is done. Well, pretty much. Just needs to be assembled (not me) & FedExed (not me again). It's at Kinko's now. This baby came to 474 pages & about 4 inches thick & over $18 million. I'm this close to soliciting myself to the NIH for money.

JOKING! (no, really, give us money, I beg of you)

You know that scene in The Jerk when Steve Martin is telling Bernadette Peters how each day seemed longer or shorter, yeah, this week has seemed like an eternity. And it's not over. I still have 4 little (mind you only $1 million (no sharks with laser beams attached....although that might be a good tactic)) grants to put together. I'm fried. We're all fried.

And it's only Wednesday.

But on the bright side, it's great having awesome friends like Taylor who hear in your voice just how fried you are & suggest that they make you dinner. Where do these people come from?!?!


It may be the place where nothing, nothing ever happens but for now, I'll take it. Until tomorrow morning that is.

So anyways, after I got the final "we're done" with the big grant I slipped on my running gear & ran home. Fucking fast. In the rain. I even chased down & beat the bus (mind you, the 66 moves sloooowwwwwly) to have clocked time that I didn't think I was any longer capable of doing (& certainly won't anytime soon).

Slow & steady was out the window.

Only to get home to no acceptance or rejection letter from BU. Again. Which is annoying since this clearly puts me into the pile of "Maybe"s. Ugh. It's been 7 weeks.


(honestly, the not 800 pissed me off royally & I was really disappointed in myself so I could see how they'd expect more too)

Patience is wearing thin at this point & I'm really trying to not be an asshole. But like I said in the last post, there really isn't anything I can do about some issues so I may as well keep on keeping on. Thankfully I have friends who take care of me & make life easier.


As for vehicular traffic in Boston & the "Massholes" out there.....well, I've solidified my belief that it isn't just automobiles. People in Boston don't know how to move. Once this whole Stimulus thing & my final's over, I think I'm going to begin asking people on the street where they learned to walk, as an experiment. Because as long as I've known human decency, you do not walk 5 horizontal & force someone into incoming traffic on an overpass. I will not shoulder-check (unlike my pal Stacey, god love her) but I have no problem pointing out that we have a finite amount of space here & that they are taking it all up without allowing those traveling in the opposite direction.

Okay, patience at a zero right now. Which clearly indicates a time for bed.

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Monday, April 20, 2009

Welcome, Ghosts

Today I spent more than 10 hours at work. Working. Like the whole time. It brought back a whole lot of memories from 2 years ago. Frustration that despite me having done my job, that I would stay late & miss a dance class because something else came up that I had no control over. I started to go into it but that's just petty & immature. What's done is done. Move forward & spend as little time dealing with it as possible.

It's annoying. But these enormous grants are. The total is over 18 million dollars.

What's up Stimulus Package?

And then tomorrow I have 3 more little ones to put together. Despite the hectic conditions, this is what I like about my job. I like editing. I like putting things together & making sure that they're perfect. Cost Transfers? Yeah, they can eat a bag of dicks for all I care.

Anyways, spring is here. No more snow. No more hibernating. Lots of reading in the yard & in parks.

The Bell Orchestre concert was canceled so there's no need to drag someone along to that.

Problem Solved!

(but sad for me since I like them)

Schmale & I talked last night for the first time in a couple months. And I miss her. The friends here are great & I love them so much. But my closest girls are everywhere but here & that can be a little tough. And I really miss my dad & brother. But hopefully I'll see them soon.

Ew. Vom. Boo hoo. Really, there is nothing to complain about right now.

So instead of going down Sappy Road, I'll head to bed.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Ain't No Party Like a Sweatpants Party Cuz a Sweatpants Party Don't Stop

Tyra (aka Bacon Weave) did not disappoint tonight. As tradition on America's (blink) Next (blink) Top (blink) Model (blink blink), they take a trip somewhere outside the US (this cycle is Brazil.....which is brazilliant!). Anyways, so Tyty always busts out where the girls are all going in the beginning of judging & pretty much repeats "so you'll all be going to (insert destination) except for one of you".

Nice girl that Bacon Weave is.

So Street Preacher London (who vastly disappointed in that she did NOT go all Jebus on the girls, which is what I was hoping for) went home or rather is not to Brazil.

Tonight was Taylor's, after I ran home from work (which I'm going to start doing more often....too bad work doesn't have a shower because I'd run there in the morning), which essentially means that I'm exhausted at this point.

But, there are two things I'd like to share before climbing into my lovely plaid bed & snuggling up with Georgie, Henry & a crossword.

First, a thought that was brought up while making dinner & discussing men we've met at bars & subsequently "dated":

T: You know, picking someone up at a bar sometimes is more dangerous than driving home drunk.

Me: I certainly would never advocate or condone drinking & driving but in an abstract, conceptual way if you make it home safe driving & didn't hurt anyone it's over. Conversely, sometimes those pick-ups can last for a long time & it's not a good thing.

T: Exactly. Both are pretty bad news & have the potential to punish your lack of judgment for a long time.

Second, gfy posted a link to an interview with Bai Ling. Mmmm.....the Bai. She's such a cool glass of crazy water. Here's the link.

I'd like to point out a couple things real quick-like.

1. "I’ve never acted this crazy and free in any movie." Please note the IN A MOVIE part....real life, Bai is as crazy as you get. (see 2nd paragraph of 1st question & rest of interview)

2. "I hate shopping. I don’t go shopping. If I do, I run in and out. But she loves it." She? "A spirit. And when I go shopping, she feels open and sexy."

3. "And actually, I just made a movie. It’s not based on the book, but it’s called Nipples: Secrets of My Dreams. I shot it, directed it, starred in it with my eight little spirits." And who are these 8 spirits? "Eight Little Spirits in Miniskirts."

Wait for it....

4. "They’re sitting on your hair, on your shoulder, on your nails. I’m like their peacemaker, because they don’t like each other. I have a panda, a chicken, a dolphin … I have a monkey … All in miniskirts."


5. "But while I was there, I was like a little girl having the time of her life. My panda was sleeping at the time. He was like, “Hey — you’re destroying yourself!” But the other spirit was like, “Shut up! Give me a shoe. I have to get onstage.” I was totally nuts." She's referring to her time on some VH1 singing show. What shoes have to do with anything is beyond me....but not beyond Bai.

Friends, I'm beginning to think that my old roommate, Whack-a-doo, might be Bai Ling or one of her relatives because reading this article closely resembles some of our conversations. Which I honestly wish I would have picked up on about 8 months ago.

Ugh. I have to be at work by 8 tomorrow so it's off to bed. Currently, I'm working on putting together & editing a P01 & about 5 other stimulus grants. Fortunately, this is what I like doing. It's the financial, cost transfer bullshit that I could do without forever.

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Monday, April 13, 2009

Occupation: Cougar

Scene: Baptist church which boasts one of the oldest Tiffany windows in the US (original installed in 1890 but was fully restored in 2007) converted into a ballet studio (yes, this is where I's amazing).

Charlotte: Hey Em! How are you? Foot any better?

Me: Eh, it's still a little swollen & sore after 4 weeks but I'm stubborn...heard it's a combined class tonight. I just hope that M*** isn't teaching because I'd rather be at work. How are you?

Charlotte: Good. Molly's teaching. She talks a lot but that gives me time to catch my breath.

Me: The talking so much I could do without but she does give good critique. Woah, what's up, he's cute. (eyes following adorable boy)

Charlotte: Huh?

Me: Nevermind.

(enter) Cos (the Thursday instructor who pretty much drips of sexuality & loveliness as a straight male ballerino): Hey, Trouble-maker, I said you get here, I do not have time for you right now so you will do as I ask.

Rumor had it that Cos's son was hanging out during the day at the ballet studio because he'd been suspended from school.

Adorable boy walks to Cos.

Yes, I am now finding 17-year-olds attractive. And I thought 25YO was bad.


Sunday, April 12, 2009


Mmmmm.....this was a recharge weekend. Nice & calm. Reminds me how much happier I am living like this.

Friday night brought me right back to Junior year of high school. I babysat for Dalia & further reinforced that I want to have kids. She's an 8-month-old peanut & just so fun & happy. We laughed & talked & practiced crawling. She went to bed for me just fine. So with the rest of the night I watched Miss Congeniality & fell asleep on the couch, empty pizza box to my right.

Saturday morning we went to see the Easter Bunny & the line (an hour & a half to pay to sit on some big, overheated bunny's lap) allowed Raniah & me to gossip & gab & enjoy each others' company. The picture is now on my mantle in a lovely silver frame. Running didn't happen since it was raining out & the gym closed early. Oh well.

And then last night Neighbor Jess & I watched Australia & drank Boddington's. Michelle joined us for a while & actually asked a question I have been tip toeing around for some time....what is my plan for next year. I don't want to move. I love this apartment. I set it all up a year & a half ago & have since made it a home. There are no more ghosts. Only Michelle & me. The art is hung just where we like it. We have fresh flowers in here at all times. George & Henry are happy with a lot of space to run around & windows to watch birds. That being said, I was afraid that Michelle was looking for somewhere else (come on, seriously, I have reason to be paranoid what with roommate history). But no, she asked if I was hoping to stay because she is. I almost started crying. Really, lump in the throat. Save the lack of manz & my job kinda shitting the bed, life is pretty damn awesome right now. School is great. (actually found a program in Spain if BU doesn't happen...that wouldn't be until 2010 though) My parents are happy & healthy. I have some of the most beautiful & inspiring friends who are compassionate & supportive. Sometimes I want to vom it's going so well.

A load had been lifted off of my chest.

So today was another morning waking up without an alarm (I love that). I read & lazed around for a while. Was hoping to play some tennis but it's too cold & windy so instead settled for a 2 mile jog (I'm already up to 2 miles comfortably again!). A mere 1/4 mile into it the dread shin splints came back full force but figured that this is such a short run, no biggie. Then at 3/4 in I had to fart. Bad. So I was like 'oh, that's why my tumtum has been feeling all weird'. About to relieve myself I realized that was no fart.


Looking around I saw that no one was on the track & there were bushes just a little bit away. Yes, that actually went through my head. We've all been there. But instead I somehow squeezed (ha ha ha ha!) in another mile & a quarter to finish up my jog & run very quickly home.

Cars stop for me. I stop for no one.

As for the rest of the week, I'll be going into work early, dancing, schooling & the like. Next weekend I've been invited to a party on Friday & Saturday nights. To be honest, I'll probably skip out on Friday's but go to the pub crawl (do people still really do these things?!) on Saturday because Stacey will be there & she's always a good time.

But here's a problem I need to resolve.....I have tickets to Bell Orchestre on May 1 & have no one to go with. Then Keane/Helio Sequence on May 21 & finally Passion Pit on June 18. Poor Michelle might be dragged to these things but she's not really 'into' music (or maybe the last two she'd be cool with but BO, yeah, I'd just feel bad). Joanie, my music bud, is into punk. Taylor's out. Raniah's out. So it's looking like I'm in the same boat I was for the David Byrne concert on Halloween (I'm still completely puzzled as to how NONE of my friends wanted to go to that show....they're idiots).

Ugh. Life's little troubles. (just kidding, not complaining, this one is not cancer, death, MS, moron roommates or living in North Dakota or shitting your pants)

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Wow. You said that?

At this point, the old eyes are barely open after long days & Bacon Weave & jogs & the bitches that are my sinuses acting up (please, I know, don't start, I'm working on it) & the ultra-ballet class tomorrow night. BUT.

As an habitual creature, I check the weather before bed (& then when I wake up to see whether...pun!...wardrobe alteration is necessary). And I just read this:

"Western storminess leads to severe storms."

I don't know who these people are but I'd like to state the redundant at my job. Wait, I do....but it isn't as funny.

Also, here's a fun website to both invoke tears & scare the bejesus out of you:
Fundies Say the Darndest Things

Suggestion: the Top 100. Extreme religious worship: A classic case of something intended for good going so horribly wrong.

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Wednesday, April 01, 2009

We are Sore the Length of our Bodies, We Restore Water we Cry

Ugh. Busy busy busy. And tired tired tired. I have a big weekend coming up with Physics John coming in for a quick visit. And a big gay party on Saturday night. It'll be awesome, I'm sure but Sunday will more or less be a wash of John & me inevitably dragging our asses all around Boston in an attempt to get the vodka lint out of our brains. Anyways, this last weekend was stressful. Which is partly why this is so blah.

Friday night Michelle met me in Harvard Square after my eye doctor appointment & we did the cream, visit Clare, run into Ethan.


Thank Bokonon he didn't try to talk to me. Not that I think that he would. But he definitely saw me & ew, I'm just grossed out right now. It completely threw me for a loop.

Seeing ghosts.

Saturday was the last day with Doba. He moved back to KY on Sunday morning & that pretty much broke my little heart. At one point when we were driving I started crying & could barely get out "what the hell am I going to do on Saturday night?". That's not the only or even close to most important reason for the sadness of his departure. But something shallow was appropriate.

We drove down to Dedham, which by the way, is not somewhere I'd be too excited to visit pretty much ever & the following scene occurred. The "GarMindy" told us that we were 100 yards away from our destination while traveling under an underpass so I turned to Dobes & was like 'dude, where are you taking me? I'm going to get raped!' to which he replied "No. You're with me. WE'RE going to get raped."

The last hooray in Boston.

Work's a total bitch right now but I'm happy to have a job. Especially one that's allowing me to do a shitton of editing & reading this month.

And I got another 100% on a paper this week. Yeah, what's up defending the anti-ultra-low-diesel fuel power plant in Chelsea! This is certainly reaffirming my hope & desire to start writing more research papers.

And and, I started running again. Never thought that I would and I am being very careful not to go overboard (have a schedule). It feels good. Physically & mentally. I'm planning on a summer full of 5Ks. Starting with the AIDS one & Chelsea Creek in June.

Okay, I need to head to bed & finish Good Omens. Great book, by the way.

More funny stories soon. This serious crap es para los pajaros.

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