ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Monday, April 13, 2009

Occupation: Cougar

Scene: Baptist church which boasts one of the oldest Tiffany windows in the US (original installed in 1890 but was fully restored in 2007) converted into a ballet studio (yes, this is where I's amazing).

Charlotte: Hey Em! How are you? Foot any better?

Me: Eh, it's still a little swollen & sore after 4 weeks but I'm stubborn...heard it's a combined class tonight. I just hope that M*** isn't teaching because I'd rather be at work. How are you?

Charlotte: Good. Molly's teaching. She talks a lot but that gives me time to catch my breath.

Me: The talking so much I could do without but she does give good critique. Woah, what's up, he's cute. (eyes following adorable boy)

Charlotte: Huh?

Me: Nevermind.

(enter) Cos (the Thursday instructor who pretty much drips of sexuality & loveliness as a straight male ballerino): Hey, Trouble-maker, I said you get here, I do not have time for you right now so you will do as I ask.

Rumor had it that Cos's son was hanging out during the day at the ballet studio because he'd been suspended from school.

Adorable boy walks to Cos.

Yes, I am now finding 17-year-olds attractive. And I thought 25YO was bad.



Anonymous Anonymous said...


You are so going to jail! Watch out or Chris Hansen from "How To Catch A Predator" might drop by...

But when he hears the Deep Cuts from John Mayer...

My gosh that cover is so, so, so bad. It's a great sentiment to make you something personal and handmade, but wow.

Light up the incense, turn on the black light, because the cheech and chong movies are gonna be on soon.

11:54 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Yeah.....I don't want to be the Demi to an Ashton.

It was sweet. But just so painful. Almost as painful as his claim to not care about outside appearences after pulling up in an Audi. That he bought for himself.

9:35 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

An Audi. Nice.

That is a very outward appearance kind of a thing. How can you justify it any other way when there are other cars that are cheaper and safer?

But still, at least the cover was "cool".

12:11 PM

Blogger emertron said...

I'd say. If it were a hand-me-down from his parents then I'd buy it. Or if he hadn't been so adimant about being a socialist (not kidding).

Speaking of cool stuff....I really want to answer this guy's ad, well, because I'd like to see what these stoned costume parties are all about.....

I bet I could bring the mix along & everyone would be happy.

12:21 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I eat lots of meat. You can be vegetarian, that's cool. Doesn't bug me. But don't give me static when i eat a triple bacon monster burger with extra mammal. That shit's delicious."

I love that he used "shit" as a possessive. Because shit can own things, especially when referring to food.

You pretty much have to attend one of his theme parties. You know, hang with him and the bros while they listen to disturbed and toke up.

And yes, the mix would be the talk of the town for days to come afterwards.

But if you get a ride in sports honda... even better!

12:51 PM

Blogger emertron said...

I think the following is my favorite & I'll tell you why....

"I LOVE theme parties. Last summer we have already had a western party, pirate canoeing, tiki party, zombie walk, formal night, and a number of other excuses to smoke in costumes. And good taste. And cute, eclectic girls to kiss and smoke with."......

This guy is pretty much just extending college frat parties into his late 20s. Also, the last 2 "sentences" just don't make any sense. I love it. It's like he was totally into thinking about these wicked costume parties & then remembered that he was writing a personal ad. What a relationship this guy can provide!

1:34 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

He probably saw "Old School" and pounded down a cold one and said "hell yes" before he turned on wrestling.

2:48 PM


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