ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Monday, February 08, 2010

2nd Quarter


Seven days down, Twenty-one more to go. I feel like a machine. Like an animal. Like a.....

First of all, you can't be a machine & an animal. Second, maybe you should just go to Machine instead. Rumor has it that they have some really cute, straight man bouncers.

Hhhmmm...then I'll be a machine. Like the cyborg things from Total Recall or something. Or a Model T. Or a Transformer.

More than meets the eye!

Man, oh, man, have I been hungry the last like four days. That's what happens when you're making your bunz into steel doing spinning & pretending to be a yogi. Yesterday I ate 3, count 'em 3(!), pieces of fried mac & cheese. It was amazing. But since they're so grossly fat-laden I'm only allowing myself to eat bananas, oranges & hummus today (and a sammich and eggs for dinner and a salad and probably a brownie).


Yesterday afternoon I had a yoga(r) class (75 minutes) with this really spunky older lady. She was clearly like my mom's age & still has a super-hot bod. Maybe I'll ask her to be my body mentor. Like "hey, i like your bod & would like for my bod to look like that when I'm your age.....what do you say you be my body mentor?" kind of thing.

And that's how I got kicked out of the Lady Gym.

Anyways, she was all talking about the "fire inside" us & I was almost like "hey lady, my parents are pharmacists & could probably help you out with that" but then realized that it's a metaphorical fire. Like, a "heat" or "warmth", which was totally coincidental because I'd just read this journal article about how physical warmth contributes to changes in personalities & perceptions of others. Yeah, this really neat piece about people holding warm or cold coffee & then giving presents or something. It made me want warm coffee & a present too. So the class was really good & felt really warm afterwards & brought my fire to the SuperBowl Party. On the way to the party my fire died a little bit, though, because I had to walk like 3 miles in the cold because the stupid 57 bus never came so I was all "zenned out" walking around in the cold & let some of that fire out cursing the weather.

But then I filled up with guacamole & wings & fried chocolate balls & stuff & the fire was full force once again. Then I told everyone my funny dating stories & they laughed at my misfortune & told me that I need to start dating again so that they're entertained. I told them that I'm staying a "virgin" until James Franco finally realizes what he needs in his life is (obviously!) me but in the meantime I would do what I could for the sake of entertainment.

Up next: more "zenning out" & the possibility of jazz hands!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loves me some hummus... mmmmm.

Have you watched 30 Rock lately? Lots of James Franco and his current obsession.

2:16 AM

Blogger emertron said...

Unfortunately, I have class until super-late on Thursdays so I miss 30 Rock.

Hummus is magical.

8:24 AM


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