ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Saturday, June 26, 2010


Me & my bitchy self am going to bitch for a minute. Or rather however I want because I'm at the airport for at least 2 more hours.

Okay, wait. That's where I stop.

I'm sitting in Logan, ready to head back to Chicago. Trying to catch my breath after a week of an absolutely awful person sending me emails at work (unnamed...but just please, believe me, she's awful), that law final being done, trying to grasp my green star calling herself "injured", and burying another friend from high school.

Blah blah blah. And time goes on. But this year it's seemed like there's not enough time to heal from the last blow.

So I sit at the gates in Logan, alternately reading The Black Swan & writing this. Playlist is Stacey's mix from last year. DnTel is blaring in my ears right now and I'll be honest, as much as I can't wait to see friends and family, I'm terrified to confront that which I've "grieved" over but haven't confronted on a face-to-face basis.

But anticipation gets you nowhere when it comes to these situations. And that's a waste of energy that will need be spent tonight with the crew laughing, crying, and, of course, swimming.


Saturday, June 19, 2010

Heavy Heart

Plain talk:

A close friend in high school was killed this week in Afghanistan. Why he was there, I don't know. We hadn't talked in years. Despite being an integral part of each others' lives 12 years ago, our paths separated. Am I sad for this? No. I certainly would have enjoyed keeping in contact but we lived very different lives.

He helped me through, as to date, the most difficult part of my life.

Any time I started to cry (which was unfortunately often, as I pretty much didn't eat for 2 years...don't judge), he'd quickly bring back happy & figure out some way in which the scene could be shifted.

When I called Mom to request that she be present for services if I'm not in Chicago she asked why he was there & other technical aspect that, at this point are moot. On that, I more or less hung up, wondering how she could say such things. These aren't issues of when/why/how. You just fucking show up. She called back 10 minutes later with an apology of how grave this incident was & began recalling that we'd spent most of our high school years hip to hip within the group.

The loss of Gunnar in this world is one less person whose glass is always half full. Problems, his or others', eluded him.

And for that I am so thankful that for 31 years he was on the earth.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010


I wrote a poem. And will justify to anyone why I did not like Jane Austen.

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Friday, June 11, 2010

Spinning Away

Wow, I really use exercise to get out pent up stress. Which is why I've been in the spinning studio like 2-3x/week lately & still yogaing & running.

Other than that, it's all law class, which is more or less Greek to me.

Oh, and hanging out quite a bit with Jorge, Lisa, Nicole, & Wev. Which is ridiculously fun and ridiculously tiring. Definitely looking forward to a nice, quiet evening with Neighbor J, grilling & relaxing. Since tomorrow's a bust (class, yes, CLASS at 9 followed directly by the Pride Parade & Somerville Arts Fest), I can only assume that by 8 p.m. I will be good for nothing but a shower & the couch.

So ANYWAYS, in 3 weeks I'll be in my new place!! Yipee! Cleaned out my closets & drawers last weekend. Taking pictures of furniture & hauling stuff to the Salvation Army box on Sunday & a trip to Target for a plastic thing that I can stick under my bed to put my shoes in for the new place. Pretty much the rest of what I need to do is physically move. Oh, and take a law final, play Tipple Trivia, visit Chicago.

Wait, another trip to Chicago? Are you going to call your Bang Maid?

Yes. Another trip to Chicago. And no, I'm not going to call my Bang Maid because I really have no desire to bang.

First, you're boring. Second, everyone wants to bang. Third, you should go to like Miami or something because that's where people bang. Not Chicago.

Gross. I don't want to bang someone who smells like Banana Boat.

See! Caught you! You do want to bang!!!

Ugh. No, I'm going to Chicago to see (drum roll, please!) J-BOO!!!! And Schmale & Farthead (who's expecting...yay!) & Erin (who's also knocked up) & Karen. Clearly people bang in Chicago. Just not me.

So you're saying that you're going to Chicago to be surrounded by married people who are pregnant & have kids?


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