ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Cure Revealed!!

Want to know how to roll yourself out of a bad mood? First, it's not easy and you have to want to not be in a bad mood anymore. Many times I actually want to stay in a bad mood. Why? So that I have something to complain about because, quite frankly, my life is kind of ridiculous. And because I know that these bad moods sometimes (usually) mean that there is a mini-meltdown on the horizon and if I stay cunty then I don't move into the later stages.

Earlier today when a friend and I were discussing dating (for the millionth time) and she was like "why don't you try the onlines?" and I was like "NO FUCKING WAY MAN...first, I don't even know if I want to date anyone, and second he'd have to be ridiculously special because any dude would be the twinkles in the sprinkles on the sundae which is my rad life" and she was like "agreed".

I like to complain about that a lot, too. Not dating anyone. Because it's like The Go-To. And people expect it from a single lady. So rather than being like "did you see that documentary about Sholem Alecheim?" and people being like "woah woah woah who what where why aren't you supposed to complain about trying to get knocked up and marry some rich dude?" I usually just go with it. Because if some dude who was superawesome came along and we were like destined by the stars or something then sure, let's see what happens. If not, oh well. Still, people like to talk about it all the time and I like to complain about it when I'm feeling insecure and don't really want to let someone know the "real me"...whatever that means.

But that is all lame boring stuff. Better, awesome stuff is like how to get yourself out of a funk. First, start out with ordering a pizza on Cunty Thursday and getting hit on by the cute townie who made your pie when you go to pick it up. He was like "blah blah blah the movie Rad" and I was like "um, John Farnham rules" and then he obviously fell in love with me because anyone would. HA HA!

The ego boost was really nice.

Then talk to like a million of your friends. Spend time with them. Good time with them. In a safe place. And even if you don't feel like laughing, do it anyway. Because your friends are funny. And they just want you to smile. So when you smile and laugh that makes them smile and laugh and the whole thing is like a cycle of happy. Having been a friend in this equation before, I know that it is true. And then when one of them is telling you something they think you can relate to and gain help from it's okay to cry. A lot. Even in public. Because you are releasing the demons, er, the FEEEEEELINGS.

And you are not a robot.

Then spend more time with your friends because you might still spontaneously cry. And they will be like "oh you can't be sad with a chocolate milkshake in one hand any my baby in your other hand look at that she said that she loves you Auntie Emily!". And she's right. It is physically impossible to be really upset when you have a chocolate milkshake in one hand and a 3-year-old holding your other hand.

Once you're feeling more stable go do some exercise. Preferably mindless exercise, like ellipsing while watching Clueless. And finally make something warm. Not out of a box. Not take out. Doesn't have to complicated, but it has to be from scratch. Start it with raw ingredients, stir it, wait for it patiently, and let it get tasty.

Wrap yourself in a blanket like it's your safe cocoon, put on your favorite movie, and eat your food. Ignore the work emails. Work will be there tomorrow morning when you get in. For tonight, bask in the peace that visiting your insides and depending on the kindness of humanity brings you.

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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Cunty Thursday

Yeah, that's what today is...Cunty Thursday. Man, I am in a BAD MOOD. And have been like all week. Nothing really happened. Work's the same old work. I even pulled a B+ on a paper I wrote in an hour for school (not really so proud of that one but appreciate the get out of jail free card). I've been boxing more this week than usual, which should make me like totally out of aggression. I'm balleting really well. And I've been eating chocolate candies for dinner because I got a water bottle full of chocolate for Halloween and I can't use the water bottle until I eat all of the delicious treats inside soooo....

Wait, that doesn't make sense? You shut the hell up.

See! Cunty Thursday has me in its grips. So you know the only cure for Cunty Thursday?

Neither do I. But I'm going to try a few things out. These things include but are not limited to...not talking to anyone else for the rest of the night because I have no business conversing with anyone, finding delicious foods to stuff in my mouth because I am hungry, not cooking those foods because I am feeling like a lazy bitch, taking a bath and singing loudly because that's just what I feel like, watching shit tv, or maybe a cheeseball movie. Who knows. The world is my oyster to feel annoyed in right now.


Man, I cannot wait until this mood passes by and I can go back to being fucking awesome.

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Monday, October 03, 2011

Whirlwind Twirlwind

So. This morning I dragged myself out of a warm, comfy bed on Bleecker and Mercer to "smart walk" (you know, the walk when you want to go fast but look silly and like you are a WOMAN ON A MISSION) up to the Union Square subway stop at 6 fucking o'clock this morning. I was smart walking, for sure. In a summer dress with tights and a million lb bag because it was stuffed full of my computer and research and cookies from Milk Bar (this is how I get shit done around here...cookies) and a beautiful new dress.

My mission was to make the 7 o'clock Bolt bus back to Boston because I'd missed the Sunday afternoon one I was supposed to make. Whoops is right. And really, I did not so much want to come home. The past couple times that I've been to New York I've felt a bit melancholy about heading home. Hell, in July a cried on the bus as we were leaving Manhattan. I was also letting one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me (thank you mandy) sink in and was whimpering a little with tears quietly rolling down my face as I gazed out the window in one of those really dramatic moments. I bet the rest of the bus thought that my boyfriend had just broken up with me or something.

This time I watched Leaving Las Vegas. Not the best decision I've made in my life.

So this picture was what I saw as I was normal walking down 34th Street this morning (after I knew that I would make it to 34th & 8th on time). And you know, I really could get used to this view. I love New York. That city makes me fall for it a little more every time I'm there. The energy. The food. The ballet classes. The people. I stayed at Physics John's place again. Be he was in Baltimore with his family so I had the whole place to myself. And I did what any other normal person would do with an apartment on Manhattan.

Walked around in my underpants. And ate cookies. Fucking heaven.

So I twirled around Saturday morning in the ballet studio. And had lunch with the ladies. And cuddled my baby cousin. And even went to a party in Brooklyn (isn't that supposed to be where all of the hip people are or something?). And I am fully aware that all of my happy occurrences would be different if I moved down to NYC. But this weekend also made me realize that I could afford to head down there about once/month. Wouldn't that be nice? Maybe we'll stretch it to every 8 weeks.

It also made me realize that I am going to be needing a vacation here soon. Or like a longer than 48 hour trip somewhere outside of Brookline. Winter's coming.....time to update that passport because we need to head south.

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