ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Cure Revealed!!

Want to know how to roll yourself out of a bad mood? First, it's not easy and you have to want to not be in a bad mood anymore. Many times I actually want to stay in a bad mood. Why? So that I have something to complain about because, quite frankly, my life is kind of ridiculous. And because I know that these bad moods sometimes (usually) mean that there is a mini-meltdown on the horizon and if I stay cunty then I don't move into the later stages.

Earlier today when a friend and I were discussing dating (for the millionth time) and she was like "why don't you try the onlines?" and I was like "NO FUCKING WAY MAN...first, I don't even know if I want to date anyone, and second he'd have to be ridiculously special because any dude would be the twinkles in the sprinkles on the sundae which is my rad life" and she was like "agreed".

I like to complain about that a lot, too. Not dating anyone. Because it's like The Go-To. And people expect it from a single lady. So rather than being like "did you see that documentary about Sholem Alecheim?" and people being like "woah woah woah who what where why aren't you supposed to complain about trying to get knocked up and marry some rich dude?" I usually just go with it. Because if some dude who was superawesome came along and we were like destined by the stars or something then sure, let's see what happens. If not, oh well. Still, people like to talk about it all the time and I like to complain about it when I'm feeling insecure and don't really want to let someone know the "real me"...whatever that means.

But that is all lame boring stuff. Better, awesome stuff is like how to get yourself out of a funk. First, start out with ordering a pizza on Cunty Thursday and getting hit on by the cute townie who made your pie when you go to pick it up. He was like "blah blah blah the movie Rad" and I was like "um, John Farnham rules" and then he obviously fell in love with me because anyone would. HA HA!

The ego boost was really nice.

Then talk to like a million of your friends. Spend time with them. Good time with them. In a safe place. And even if you don't feel like laughing, do it anyway. Because your friends are funny. And they just want you to smile. So when you smile and laugh that makes them smile and laugh and the whole thing is like a cycle of happy. Having been a friend in this equation before, I know that it is true. And then when one of them is telling you something they think you can relate to and gain help from it's okay to cry. A lot. Even in public. Because you are releasing the demons, er, the FEEEEEELINGS.

And you are not a robot.

Then spend more time with your friends because you might still spontaneously cry. And they will be like "oh you can't be sad with a chocolate milkshake in one hand any my baby in your other hand look at that she said that she loves you Auntie Emily!". And she's right. It is physically impossible to be really upset when you have a chocolate milkshake in one hand and a 3-year-old holding your other hand.

Once you're feeling more stable go do some exercise. Preferably mindless exercise, like ellipsing while watching Clueless. And finally make something warm. Not out of a box. Not take out. Doesn't have to complicated, but it has to be from scratch. Start it with raw ingredients, stir it, wait for it patiently, and let it get tasty.

Wrap yourself in a blanket like it's your safe cocoon, put on your favorite movie, and eat your food. Ignore the work emails. Work will be there tomorrow morning when you get in. For tonight, bask in the peace that visiting your insides and depending on the kindness of humanity brings you.

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