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Sunday, November 13, 2011

Music Will Bring Us Together

With a heavy heart I write having learned on Friday that a friend died the day before. The obituary says that he passed but ever since reading that one passage in The World According to Garp, I've hesitate to use the phrase passed away. Neil died. Or at least his body did. His profound effect on others will be with us for as long as his goofy smile stays burned on our brains.

We weren't best friends. We hadn't talked in over a year. But it still hurts my heart to know that there is one less generous soul among us. So many people weren't afforded that feeling that you are special when you opened his door and saw his face. He truly made you feel special. The only solace in the situation is the gratitude I feel from having had the experience and hoping that from his example we can project that feeling on to others.

This never gets any easier. This death thing. But it's not going away. And is one of the risks you face when you are fortunate enough to have the opportunity to love people. Because they love you back. No matter what. Even if someone stops loving you, or you stop loving them because of death or any other reason. There will always be love between you. Nothing can ever take that away. And if you're grateful for it, passing it on is how to keep that love alive inside of you and allow someone else to love you too.

Tonight I made a condolence call. The wake and funeral are in Chicago. I'm in Boston. But I called Megan, a wonderful woman I met through Neil, to offer a sorry and let her know I'm thinking of her. Like Neil, she and I hadn't talked in a while. I expected to leave a message but she picked up. And it was amazing to hear her sweet voice. We got to make a quick catch up and promised to talk tomorrow. And at the end we naturally exchanged I love yous. Like we always had. Since the night I met the two of them at the SummerDance Fest on a hot Wednesday night in Grant Park howevermany years ago. You don't get to make that sort of connection with people everyday.

But that won't stop me from trying. Just like Neil did.

He is already missed. And will be for a long time. I am forever grateful for all he has done and what he still will do, even if he couldn't be here with us physically anymore.

Love you, buddy.

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