ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Sunday, November 27, 2011

New Goals

Remember like 2 years ago when I decided to make February Operation Pudge-be-Gone? And how I was skinny for like a month? I'm not going to do that again. Mostly because I am hungry like all the time and can't imagine my life without ice cream and kind of don't care as much anymore about being all skinny.

(the lies i tell myself)

So since I got 2 whole comments on my post about Breaking Dawn Part I and the bullshit mind-fuck that these books are doing to our youths (don't even get me started on the Oprah mind-fuck), I feel like the people want to hear more from me. (no they don't) So I'm going to make my December goal to post a little something. SOMETHING ANYTHING. Everyday. Just of December. But at least then I will have written something. Probably a whole bunch of bullshit. Or like crying about how I totally wish that the British waiter would get his shit together and realize that I am goddamn amazing. (he will not ever get his shit together and realize that I am goddamn amazing) Or maybe I will be struck by the holiday spirit and post something positive everyday.

Please stop laughing.

Guess what I'm doing tonight. A cleanse. Or a detox. Something for my kidneys. You see, I don't have to detox from massive quantities of drugs and alcohol anymore. But my facialist or aethetician (how do you even spell that?) was like "you have some residual stuff that you're still trying to get rid of drink all of this tea" and I was like "okay, whatever you say you're the boss". But the truth is that it's probably because I still sometimes eat like shit (Anna's Taqueria!) and I am so shallow that I freak out when I have like 3 little zits on my cheeks. So this stuff has a warning on it that maybe I will get diarrhea. So in a roundabout way, it's kind of like Operation Pudge be Gone again because I might lose a ton of weight due to shitting my brains out.

So I'll let you know on December 1 how that goes. Or maybe sooner. Who knows. I'll probably write about how rad Thanksgiving was. Best Thanksgiving Ever.

But for now...I gotta do more work (yes I work at 11:00 on Sunday nights) and go to bed.

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