ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Saturday Schmatterday

After a long week of work I usually have no desire to do anything on Saturday. And like most Saturdays, I did just that. Not like nothing nothing but certainly minimal amounts of chores.

And maximum amounts of awesome shit.

You can quote me on that "maximum amounts of awesome shit". We should put that on tee shirts!

So Amanda and I went to see The Descendants tonight. A lot of people wear tee shirts in that movie. And it was really good. No tee shirt correlation. Or at least if there was, there's no way to tell in which way the causal direction occurred.

Get it? I made an Epidemiology joke about Cross Sectional studies. Wasn't funny? That's why I should stick to not working, even at stupid jokes, on Saturdays.

Now I'm rotting my brain watching Sweet Home Alabama. I watched this awful movie a while back, too, and wrote about how I shouldn't be watching it & will only depress me. Do I listen? No. Just like how I have had several people tell me to never ever ever watch another one of those bullshit Twilight movies but you know what? I will probably watch them all and then bitch about them for like years.

But really. I'm watching Reese Witherspoon be annoying and still get her way in the end and wear cute clothes and the commercials have this huge woman named Hazel and her kitchen. She just served some dude with a mop of blonde curly hair Pina Colada pie and she specifically said "there's no whiskey in that pie...I don't allow whiskey in my kitchen".

Hazel and I have something in common. Maybe we should be best friends. Right after I stop being best friends with the pizza and chocolate eclair I have in front of me right now.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I WILL quote that!

And wouldn't it be awesome if Reese slipped on a banana peel, thus creating a chain of events that led to an electrical accident that took out both Reese, Oprah, and Dr. Phil?

That would culminate in maximum amounts of awesome shit!

12:03 PM

Blogger emertron said...

Fuck yeah it would.

5:41 PM


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