ardent bullshit comes down every faultline gushing heavily into jest kindly luscious melons nodding openly post quakes resting still to undermind various wonderous xylophones yawning zealously

Monday, June 27, 2016

That Time

It's been hot, like legit hot, now for a few weeks. I like the heat. Today I prefer it to the cold, but the truth is that I will grow sick of it within the next couple months and I like the seasons.  And the change. Weather change is a change I can deal with. Other change? Not so much.

That is unless I feel like I am the one controlling the change but that is a whole other ball of psychoanalysis wax that, quite frankly, is BORING.

So it is hot out.  And now that the heat has settled for the next couple months, I better get used to being sticky and somewhat uncomfortable unless I am sitting in a pool.  Good thing the pool opens on Wednesday.

Summer also messes with my head a little in the reminiscence arena.  A few years back I was really low during the summer and it was miserable. The Ghost of Independence Day Past still comes back around, poking its little nose in to say "hey, remember That Time?"

Not really, to be honest.

Anyway, The Sads have lifted, thank god. Or for the most part anyway.  Last night I didn't sleep well. Fireworks at 2:30, sore throat at 3:45, waking up thinking about a relationship and the wheel of fortune starts spinning the future stories.  This morning they were back, though, The Sads. All up in my face like I had forgotten fear and anger and helplessness.  So I worked and ran and called Mandie and we talked on the phone for hours while I sat on my fire escape. And in the middle of the conversation we were laughing because nothing stays too sad or down when I'm around my people.  We also realized that we've been together for almost six years now, supporting one another, and just how incredible that is. How fortunate we are.

And I feel grounded enough to soak some beans and make some dinner and ease on into the night.

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